So tonight my mom calls me and says that my favorite cousin had a mamogram with a spot on it so they had her come back and do another one-same spot. It isn't a lump that you can see or feel-just a cluster of cells. Yesterday she met with the surgeon that is going to do the biopsy-he said that on a scale of 1-5 with 5 being definately the C-word, she is a 4 right now. Then he explained to her what the next year is going to look like with chemo and the masectomy and the reconstructive surgery. Already he tells her all this. They don't even know for sure if it is something (but I guess he is feeling pretty sure).
The biopsy is next week and she will have results the day after. please pray for her, and for her husband and four children. Understandably, no one is taking this well.
And here is my selfish dilemma. What do I say to this cousin who I love so much but talk with so infrequently. My mom said that the whole family had been freaking out and crying and my cousin has been the strong one going around comforting everyone....I don't want her to feel responsible for making me feel allright about what is happening. I want to make her feel allright, but what do you say to someone in this position. The coward part of me just wants to pretend that I don't know and not contact her at all (isn't that horrible) but I know that I should, and I know that I am going to........I just don't know what I'm going to say.