From Tracie: Where I Say Everything That I Was Thinking To My Husband

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Where I Say Everything That I Was Thinking To My Husband

When my friend with the Cluttered Brain told me that I had better link up with What I Meant to Say this week, I was scared! I thought she might come after me with an empty bottle of Dr. Pepper or something. Eek! Just kidding, she is too sweet to do anything like that...but just in case I think I better do it! 

These are both stories that I have told before, but since they are still issues at my house, I thought today would be a great day to revisit them.

-My husband, Thomas sits down to the computer and starts playing with facebook (this is dangerous already) He reads someone's status update, and then I hear it, the click, click, click of the keyboard and the muffled chuckling.  "Honey, come look at this.  Read what I wrote-out loud, read it so that I can hear it.........isn't that funny?"  I respond, "okay, you can post that if you want to......"

What I meant to say.... "Did you take psycho pills this morning?  I know that person!  You are not actually going to post that craziness on their facebook page, are you?  Really!?! You know we might actually see that person again in real life.  Don't you think about these things?"

-Sometimes Thomas goes shopping.  Isn't that sweet? He loves to pick up little presents from the store, some flowers, a candy bar, cookies, cupcakes (just in case you didn't know, sugar is the way to my heart!) but sometimes he gets detoured in the clothing department.  I'm not sure why there isn't a woman working in department stores whose only job is to keep husbands out of the women's clothing department, but that is a subject for another day.  So, my husband comes home with this shirt - I really should have a picture of it here so that you could bask in the scariness, but I didn't take one.....just imagine with me the worst shirt you have ever seen in a store, or all the clothes that your grandma wore in 1982- Thomas says, "Here honey, I saw this and it was so pretty that I wanted to bring it to you.  Try it on and see if it fits"

I put on the shirt, place a smile on my face and say, "That was so sweet of you honey to bring me a shirt.  I think it might just be a little too small though, if I dry it in the dryer it will shrink.  I should probably take it back and see if I can get a size bigger."

What I meant to say......."I'm sorry, were you shopping for me or for your imaginary wife who is 95 years old.  I am not a grandma!  Why did you buy me this crazy, applicay-flowered mess.  On what planet are shoulder pads attractive in the year 2010?  I would never wear this in public!  I will, however take it back to the store, have a difficult time finding the rack it came on and replace it with a shirt that doesn't make me look like a crazy person"

I think I am happy this week with these two stories.  I will restrain myself from telling you that what I really mean to say to my husband when he invites me to play computer games with him is, "No I will not play World of Warcraft with you.  I do not want to be a troll.  I do not want to kill giant lizard thingys, and I will not hang out with your friends when all they talk about is how cool it is that they can turn into a bear.  If they want to be a bear, that is fine with me, as long as they are a bear.....way over there.........far away from me!"


  1. LOL. Tears are streaming from my face right now from laughing so hard!
    You are so stinkin funny, Grandma!
    With the cute shoulder pad blouse with applique!
    I wanna a picture with U in it B4 U take it
    Never mind, I might laugh so hard I WILL pee my pants...
    I WILL not play WoW with you I don't wanna play with those troll thingys...
    LOL..I love ya Tracie...
    Even if I do go after U with an empty Dr. pepper bottle...2 liters too...

  2. So true. I am totally with you on the men in the women's department. Absolutely not okay. Ever.

  3. Oh my gosh --- laughing so hard my stitches hurt. LOL

    Replace woman's department with yarn store and you have my DH. There have been many times I have gushed over what is really FUGLY yarn.

    What I meant to say is --- "Really dude -- you can see this on MY FEET?????"

  4. Oh this is terrific!!! So funny!

  5. Okay you totally have me laughing so hard!! I think I'm going to start following you!! !you are hilarious!!

  6. Roflmbo @ the shirt. My hubby doesn't buy me clothing like that, nighties oh yeah, forgetting that most lingerie sold in Wal mart gets stuck on my boobs OR I sqeeze past them then have to mash them into unrecognizable lumps to put them in the places for them. Where of course they spill over and then removal of said nightie becomes only possible by ripping the new nightie. Umm yeah.
    Ihave never understood WoW at all, period. I have enough of my own Troll days to not want to remind me about them ONLINE with others lol

  7. LOL! Does your husband read your blog? I unfriended The TO on FB. Now I don't have to cringe at his posts.

  8. omg
    I love it!!!
    this is the first time I have even heard of what I Meant so day...
    girl i could write a book like this about things i meant to say to my husband. lol
    now following you


  9. You are so much nicer than me...can you teach me to be nice to my husband? I just laugh in his face, tell him are you crazy to buy me this shirt?? Of course...he goes on and on about it and makes me wear it and well...the crocs pretty much says it all.

  10. hysterical!! there should be someone at a department store with the sole mission of keeping men out of the womens department. there's can and should, yes your husband can buy you a shirt, but should he? :)

    thank you for making my day much brighter!

  11. LMAO!
    Thank GOD my hubby has good taste. Now if I can just train him to actually pick me something up....

  12. I think I've said this before here, but my husband does the EXACT same thing when it comes to Facebook. Like, really, why do I need to edit your jokes? WHY?! It drives me nuts.

    I am lucky enough that he doesn't try to shop for me though. I can pick out my own hideous clothing.

  13. Hahahah. I love this Wednesday meme! I may just have to participate next week.

    Come on, you have to write what you really meant about World of Warcraft. I SOOO want to read it!

  14. Fortunately my hubs is pretty good about choosing clothing for me. I'm the one who's horrible at picking out gifts!

  15. Ummm...your husband shops. At all? Ever? My husband doesn't know what size I am, what colors I like, anything at all.

    Consider yourself lucky. He might get it right some day. Mine never will.