This makes eating so much fun.
Except for ice cream. Ice cream isn't too bad.
Last night I turned to Dr. Internet for answers (that worked so well the last time I tried it).
I now know about all of the interesting, and by interesting I mean gross, tongue conditions that are possible:
- Hairy Leukoplakia
- Hairy Tongue
- Black Hairy Tongue (for the first time in my life, I find myself being thankful my tongue doesn't have hair growing on it)
- Geographic Tongue (with my directional skills, I'm pretty sure I don't have any condition with the word "geographic" in it)
- Burning Tongue Syndrome
The last one had possibilities, and no mention of hair, so I decided to do more research.
Burning Tongue Syndrome.
I read the information quickly. There was a lot of stuff about nerve damage and cutting out stress, and then I saw it...
"After menopause, some women have a sudden feeling that their tongue has been burned. This is called burning tongue syndrome."
I have menopause. Clearly this is the answer, because going through menopause at 28 is exactly what I need in my life.
I told Thomas about my self-diagnosis. We had a good laugh, and I ate a cup of ice before going to bed.
When I woke up this morning, my tongue was still burning. I turned on the computer to find a notification email from twitter. During the night, I had been followed by @DONTmenoPAUSE - "a natural menopause supplement helping and relieving menopause symptoms."
Apparently menopause is calling me.
I'm not answering, because I'm too busy eating another bowl of ice cream...for medical purposes.
*I have no idea if DONTmenoPAUSE works, or not. This mention is in no way an endorsement or recommendation. I am only relaying the sick joke that the universe is playing on me - not dispensing medical advice or information.