This makes eating so much fun.
Except for ice cream. Ice cream isn't too bad.
Last night I turned to Dr. Internet for answers (that worked so well the last time I tried it).
I now know about all of the interesting, and by interesting I mean gross, tongue conditions that are possible:
- Hairy Leukoplakia
- Hairy Tongue
- Black Hairy Tongue (for the first time in my life, I find myself being thankful my tongue doesn't have hair growing on it)
- Geographic Tongue (with my directional skills, I'm pretty sure I don't have any condition with the word "geographic" in it)
- Burning Tongue Syndrome
The last one had possibilities, and no mention of hair, so I decided to do more research.
Burning Tongue Syndrome.
I read the information quickly. There was a lot of stuff about nerve damage and cutting out stress, and then I saw it...
"After menopause, some women have a sudden feeling that their tongue has been burned. This is called burning tongue syndrome."
I have menopause. Clearly this is the answer, because going through menopause at 28 is exactly what I need in my life.
I told Thomas about my self-diagnosis. We had a good laugh, and I ate a cup of ice before going to bed.
When I woke up this morning, my tongue was still burning. I turned on the computer to find a notification email from twitter. During the night, I had been followed by @DONTmenoPAUSE - "a natural menopause supplement helping and relieving menopause symptoms."
Apparently menopause is calling me.
I'm not answering, because I'm too busy eating another bowl of ice cream...for medical purposes.
*I have no idea if DONTmenoPAUSE works, or not. This mention is in no way an endorsement or recommendation. I am only relaying the sick joke that the universe is playing on me - not dispensing medical advice or information.
gf you better get yourself to the doctor.. it is probably nothing major and I doubt it is menopause but still be safe and get it checked out
ReplyDeletebwahahaha.u silly girl.I doubt menopause..u r way youngstill...
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I thought I was going through Menopause due to a bunch of different symptoms. My Dr. ran some tests. Turns out I wasn't going through Menopause; I'm just crazy. I'm not sure which one is worse.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to look up anything medical on the internet. By the time I was done, the ONE time I ever did, I thought I was dying. I just had a wierd cold.
ReplyDeleteHope your tongue feels better. Glad it's not hairy. Or black. Ugh. gross...
When I read your title, I was like - wait isn't she like 30 or something? Not even!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like an illness that is for the express purpose of encouraging you to eat ice cream.
I had this recently too and burning mouth can be caused by other things, so don't fret. No early menopause for you, ya young 'un!
ReplyDeleteWoman, I have 12 years on you and I am ignoring all calls from Menopause like they are debt collectors. Just keep eating the ice cream -- if anything, your heart will be happier!
ReplyDelete:-)
Traci
Oops! That was me transferring those calls to someone else, because I ain't taking no big M calls at my house!
ReplyDeleteIs there a doctor in the house?
ReplyDeleteROFL
Ha! I got followed by the same person following me. And someone offering diet help. And two who host rather, um...inappropriate sites. They're now blocked.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I am not ready for menopause and am hoping that in a few years they will have some awesome meds figured out?!?!? And....Hairy tongue...could you imagine a doctor telling you that is what you have. I would crack up ten say.."are you freakin serious?" Great article!
ReplyDeleteMy husband is convinced I'm going through the change even though I'm only 35...because I used to be so cold natured, and in the last year or so I'm always freezing him out with the A/C and fans running constantly.
ReplyDeleteNever had the burning tongue syndrome though! That sounds interesting! Did it get better?
Stopping in from Going Green :)
Oh that is FUNNY!!! But also so weird huh? I highly DOUBT menopause but my friend DID go through it at age 30. Talk about crazy weird!! Eat more ice cream!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha! Well, how's the early menopause going? Googling anything freaks me out! I just can't do it, b/c my crazy brain will kick on and I will think I'm dying of hairy tongue.
ReplyDelete