From Tracie: Broken Cookies

Monday, April 09, 2012

Broken Cookies

My aunt made cookies every Easter. They were big cookies with elebroate icing decorations.

Everything about them was perfect.

I thought about those cookies yesterday, wishing I had a few to snack on (they were good cookies), wishing I had the recipe to make them, and the ability to do that kind of icing work.

Easter Cookies
image source: Tracy Hunter on Flickr
(not my aunt's cookies)
She brought them to the family Easter lunch each year, and I was always happy when there were some left over to take home. But usually, by the time the one or two cookies made it home with me, they were starting to crack and break on the bottom. The thick layer of perfect icing deceptively holding them together - until I picked one up, and it fell apart in my hands.

Those cookies were a lot like our family - like my childhood - perfect and beautiful. Dressed up in pastels and a little pearl necklace on the outside, for the world to see. Cracked, broken, and about to fall apart underneath.

I can still feel my cracks as an adult, deep inside my soul. I realize I am still broken. I feel those cracks more sharply in April. I fear that no amount of icing artistically applied will hold me together for another day.

Beautiful, but broken.


Blue Child Abuse Prevention Ribbon April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month.
-Get involved in child abuse awareness and prevention.
-If you suspect that a child is being abused, or if you are a child or teen who is being abused, you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
-Get involved in sexual assault awareness and prevention.
-If you have been the victim of sexual assault and need help, or you want to help a loved one, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE.


  1. You are beautiful, broken or otherwise.

    1. Thank you. You are so very encouraging to me, and that means a lot.

  2. Stopping by to check in you.

    I read this tweet today, and your post compelled me to go back and find it so I could share it here.

    RT @Oprah: "The most blessed people have been broken." ~@BishopJakes #TheSW

    PS My debut novel, Enchanted by Starlight, is out on kindle, with my paper edition coming in May. And all my characters are broken and beautiful.

    1. I'm so glad you took the time to look for that tweet. I needed to read that today.

      I'm so excited about your novel! I want to read it when it comes out in paper.

  3. What's that cliche? You must break a few eggs to make a cake? When I think of broken, I think of what cannot be fixed. Instead I think we are well loved like the Velveteen Rabbit. For without all that we have been through, we wouldn't be where we are today.

    1. *sniffles and tears*

      The Velveteen Rabbit. Yes. This.

    2. Exactly. I always own a few copies of this book. One that I always keep, and some to give away when someone needs it most. I have a few books that I do that with.

  4. Aw Tracie ... you have one of the most beautiful hearts I know! And you have built your own beautiful strong HEALTHY LOVING family (by the grace of God)! You will be okay! In fact ... you're already victorious!

  5. you may have felt broken as a child though we really were much stronger then we thought. It was them that wanted us to stay broken so they could feel better. Though I know that feeling and week moment, I don't see it as broken, just sad at remembering how not perfect we could have been. Hugs...thank you for sharing these small parts of your life. It make me feel normal again.

  6. I really appreciated reading your April post. My husband visited a friend's home years ago, a woman he was interested in (but who didn't reciprocate, thank goodness). Her mother showed him some of her paintings and he understood just from the paintings that she had been abused. My husband has a very soft heart. I'm just so glad that God gave you a safe place and a kind husband to help you heal.