From Tracie: Mustard Toe

Monday, July 30, 2012

Mustard Toe

Yesterday I decided to paint my toenails yellow. But I think the nail polish melted, it was runny and strange. When I pulled the little brush out of the bottle, the yellow polish went all over my big toe.

I was successful in hopping to the bathroom without getting polish on the floor - only to remember that I was out of nail polish remover. By this time the polish had dried on my toe, and even after much scrubbing, a lot of yellow remained. Apparently in its melted state, this polish bonds to skin in an extreme way - its own personal super power.

I added nail polish remover to the shopping list, forgot about it, and got on with my life.

Today I threw on a pair of flip flops to pick up the mail. Looking down halfway there, I realized that my toe looked like it was covered in dried mustard. I contemplated spilling a bottle of red polish on my other big toe. I could pretend it was ketchup, and avoid a trip to the store. Maybe not.


Katarina looked up at me with her big, brown eyes tonight, and said, "It is my birthday week, and You've Got Mail makes me so very happy. May we please watch it?"

There was no good way to say no to that - even though it is the movie that kills dreams - so I'm sitting next to her watching it. I'm hoping she will fall asleep before the bookstore is destroyed, so I can turn it off in a happy place. I doubt that will happen.

This is my world - the movie that kills dreams and a mustard toe...accompanied by a sudden desire for a corn dog and some chili cheese fries with mustard and ketchup.


  1. lmbo I can so picture you with a yellow toe. You have my kind of luck it seems. I have never watched that movie.. Ever. I know I am weird, it just never interested me in the least.

    1. Stay far away - Tom Hanks is destroying a bookstore and killing dreams as I type this!

  2. C'mon.. we know you just like yellow and will stoop to any level to wear it! >8^) muhahaha!

  3. Ah! That's my girl... I love you so very much, Ms. Tracie... BUT I hope my WONDERFUL Wonder-Niece forever taunts you with the movie. Just saying! =D Also, I hope your mustard toe is a little less mustardy very soon. I am still trying to get brave enough to don yellow nail polish. I keep getting worried that it will just look very, very... well... mustardy! Love y'all!

  4. At least Meg Ryan gets Tom Hanks (and an adorable BIG dog) in the end! And maybe her dream was more to love, and be loved, than it was to keep the shop on the corner. Though I admit it would have been nice to end up with both!

  5. omg I'm laughing my ass off. Mustard toe! hahahaha!!

  6. This is the first time that a toe has made me crave food.