From Tracie: Field Of Peace

Monday, February 11, 2013

Field Of Peace

She sits in a green field.

Sun streaming down on a well-placed umbrella above her.

The grass crunchy beneath a soft blanket.

A gentle breeze flutters the pages of the book she holds.

The smell of honeysuckle thick in the air.

Condensation drips down a bottle of water.

Dusk approaches. The light fades. Small flashes are visible as lightening bugs play in the tall grass.

It is nearly perfection in this field. Nothing loud or harsh. Any sadness will be addressed three chapters later, and the end is always happy.

But when dusk's fall is complete, it is time to return to life beyond the field.

Placing her umbrella and blanket in a large bag, she begins the walk home. Counting the hours until she can return to the peace of her field. At the road, she turns for one last deep breath, holding the perfume of the honeysuckle close as a shield against what is to come.

Write On Edge

31 comments:

  1. "Any sadness will be addressed three chapters later..." This was a very depressing piece, somehow, in spite of all the efforts for your character to make them pleasant. Great job!

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    1. My character definitely longs for pleasantness, but she has many factors in her life that push against that.

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  2. Beautiful imagery, Tracie! I'm sitting in my office and the view from my window is of a gray sky and bare branches. Thanks for bringing me to that field!

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    1. Thank you. I'm glad my field could brighten up your day today!

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  3. The smell of honeysuckle always makes me think of happy childhood memories. Thank you for this!

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    1. I have a lot of honeysuckle-filled childhood memories, too.

      Also there is a memory of the time I ate too much honeysuckle, but that is a story for another day.

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  4. hmm I seriously need a field right now. beautiful piece hun

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    1. Thanks, Angel!

      I need a field too. It would be even better if we could have the same one.

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  5. Honeysuckles! I love the serenity of this piece. Well done!

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  6. This is really good. Your imagery is terrific. I miss the smell of honeysuckle's.

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    1. Thank you! I miss that smell too. We don't get it down here in Orlando.

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  7. I love the picture of how reading can capture you and take you away.

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    1. Thanks. That is exactly how I feel about reading.

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  8. That sounds like a perfect day; and I love the bit about the sadness being addressed three chapters later before a happy ending. It's clear that whatever life outside the field consists of, it's not that. Well done.

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    1. Thank you. You really picked up on the underlying story.

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  9. The imagery is spot on. You definitely managed to paint a picture with your words.

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  10. sounds as if she's found a place of escape - if only for temporary periods. You made it quite appealing for others too.

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    1. I wouldn't mind spending some afternoons there, myself.

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  11. Oh, that does sound lovely. You have a tiny sinister hint there at the end, which is very intriguing. But even without something sinister waiting at home, I would like to have that escape--just from chaos! So you definitely painted a lovely scene.

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    1. I could use some escape from chaos, too.

      Thanks!

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  12. Your descriptions are wonderful, I feel like I am sitting in that field too. The hint at the end that all is not as peaceful at home, makes me want to know more.

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    1. Thanks. I'm thinking about turning this into a longer piece.

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  13. This was really beautiful. I love that she has her field to cherish and to shield her. I think we all need something like that.

    Well done:)

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    1. I think we all do need that. Thanks!

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  14. I want to compliment you on your sensory descriptions. There was so much to love -- the gentle breeze flutters the pages of a book, condensation drips down a bottle, the smell of honeysuckle...you made me feel as if I was there.

    The combination of peacefulness and expectation was very well done. You left me wondering what will happen next!

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    1. Thank you SO much!

      I'm thinking about turning this into a longer piece. There is more of her story drifting around in my mind - now I just need to make it stay still long enough to write it.

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  15. Beautifully done. I love the way she uses that last whiff of honeysuckle to fortify her against what lies beyond the field. It makes me wonder about what she is shielding herself against. I really enjoyed reading it; you captured her feeling of peace there, with the idea that it's only temporary.
    ~Angela

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  16. "Any sadness will be addressed three chapters later..." would that we all had such a place, and such time for delayed sadness.

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  17. Great job of capturing the very essence of a "place away". I too loved the "any sadness will be addressed three chapters later" phrase....simply brilliant!

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