From Tracie: How Not To Pick A Halloween Costume

Monday, October 28, 2013

How Not To Pick A Halloween Costume

This costume choosing thing is a big deal. It is hard to find Halloween costumes for tween girls. So many of them look, well, slutty. It is worse if the girl is tall. If you have been anywhere near my family during the last week, you've been pulled into the costume brainstorming and asked for a Halloween costume suggestion by Katarina. She will then have told you, "My dad thinks I should dress as Belladonna Took, but I'm pretty sure no one will know who that is, and it will be confusing. I'll spend the whole night explaining the Lord of the Rings to people. Plus I have short hair. I need a costume that goes with short hair."

My friend Debra ended up on the phone with Katarina yesterday, and got caught in the costume conversation. It went a little something like this...

Katarina: I was thinking about being Wasp, because she is awesome, and we have matching hair. But there are no good Wasp costumes in my size.

Debra: I'm sure we can think of someone who has short hair. Oooh. Anne Hathaway in Les Misérables had short hair. You love that movie. It would be perfect. You can dress up as....what was her character's name?

Katarina: Fantine?

Debra: Yes. Dress up as Fantine! And you could make a dress out of a *potato sack since the story is from the French Revolution.

Katarina: Potato sack? I don't know about that. But really, I don't think Fantine is an appropriate costume choice.

Tracie (overhearing the conversation from across the room): Did she suggest you dress up like Fantine? From Les Misérables?

Katarina: Debra, have you seen Les Misérables?

Debra: Fantine would be perfect for you. The hair. The potato sack. You could sing the songs. It is perfect. No. I haven't seen it. Why?

Katarina: Well. See, me start from the beginning. She works in a factory-type thing, which is good, until her boss finds out she has a child, and isn't married. He fires her. And then she ends up, well, she can't find a job, and it is the 1700's and she needs money for Cosette, so she is forced to become a prostitute, and then she dies.

Debra (feeling a little flustered): Oh. What about a butterfly? A girl from the 70's? Or maybe a flower? A flower really would be perfect. Nice and happy.

We have only done this Halloween thing a couple of times, but I'm pretty sure part of trying to find a decent costume for your tween girl involves not encouraging her to dress like an actual prostitute.

After getting off the phone, Katarina said, "I was a little worried I was going to have to explain prostitution to Debra. Suddenly the thought of having to explain Lord of the Rings to everyone all night doesn't seem so awful anymore."

Have your kids picked their Halloween costumes?

*Is it a little bit wrong that the thing that horrified me the most about this conversation was the thought of sewing a French Revolution era dress from a potato sack? That is way outside of my skill set, and I'm not even sure if potatoes come in sacks anymore. My potatoes always come in bags - after they have been fried by the nice people at Lays.


  1. HA HA HA!! I am cracking up! I love the explanation that had to take place on this one! Best to steer clear of the prostitutes...solid advice for sure! ;)-Ashley

  2. Are you kidding me? As if she wasn't cool enough already and now she knows who Wasp is and wants to be her? Yellow and black dress or top and pants, wings and cover some chopsticks stuck to headphones with yellow duct tape and you're Wasp. So awesome.

  3. Hilarious! I dread the tween stage. It's just around the corner for us!

  4. hahaha, the thought of your daughter explaining prostitution made me crack up. She just sounds so amazing and mature. I can't wait to see what you all come up with.

  5. I am so glad mine are boys.. for this exact reason..

  6. My son is going to be a minion! I am so thankful that he didn't pick anything complicated.

  7. Because prostitutes always wear potato sacks lol!

  8. I thought I was reading my own thoughts there in the beginning! I have a 9 year old daughter who is 5'1" and into teen/tween costume size. They are horrifically inappropriate even for teens/tweens....nevermind a 9 YEAR OLD! We were at the store looking at costumes, she was looking at all the grown up costumes and I told her "if it has a short skirt or boobs hanging out, you can't have it" so she shows me this grown up costume, it's a long dress but it's super low cut...I said "what did I say the 2 things you can't have?" she says "what? it doesn't have a short skirt or boots" I said "boobs, not boots" she doesn't hear me b/c she is at the end of the aisle so I end up yelling "BOOBS!" That was a (not) fun way to draw attention. So at the end of the day, she is going as Hermione from Happt Potter. Nice, long robe......

  9. You crack me up!!!! My girls have their costumes all set. I am not however looking forward to the tween years. Oh and I totally think you could have made a potato sack costume even though I am pretty sure potatoes don't come in sacks a anymore.

  10. Just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh

  11. My kid wanted to be a lego I think that I have you beat in the skill set area.
    She kills me...she has one smart head on her. Didn't want to explain prostitution...ahahah!!!