From Tracie: -Microsoft Owns...What?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

-Microsoft Owns...What?

Last night we went to IHOP and there was this table of really loud, really annoying people behind us.  (*sidenote-people who know me in real life know that I am loud....but these people were much louder than me!!)

Apparently one of them had just gotten an iPhone, because their entire dinner conversation consisted of one of them saying something, and then another one of them looking it up on the phone.  Here is some of the exciting tidbits that I got to learn from this experience:

~Oh my gosh!!  Pepsi owns Yum!!!
~No, Pepsi can't own Yum...that is crazy!
(at which point Thomas and I look at each other and say "what is Yum"?)
~Yum has been around longer than Pepsi
~No it hasn't, Pepsi started in 1979 and Yum started in 1998
(Since I still didn't know what Yum was, I had no idea if this was true or not)
~I think that Pepsi is a parent corporation and so is Yum.  Then Yum started selling off some of it's "subsidizes" and Pepsi bought them, now that Pepsi owns some of Yum's former companies they are like parent's with shared custody-not quite married, but still forced to spend time together on holidays and birthdays.  
~No, Pepsi actually owns all of Yum!
(is anyone else wondering who would start a company and name it "Yum"?)
~Oh my Gosh, Did you know that Yum owns Taco Bell and KFC?  See, that proves that Pepsi owns Yum.
~How does that prove that?
~Because at Taco Bell and KFC they only serve Pepsi products.
~No Way!!  You are, like, so totally right!  Dude.  Pepsi must own Yum!  I think we should like google.....
~NO, remember we don't google anymore!!
~Oh right, I forgot.  We should "bing" fortune 50 and see if Microsoft owns Pepsi.
~Why would Microsoft own Pepsi?
~Well Pepsi owns Yum and that didn't seem possible, so Microsoft could have bought Pepsi without anyone knowing.
(at this point there is a pause while person number one plays with his iPhone and person number two eats.  We enjoy the brief silence and I try Katarina's gingerbread pancakes)
~I can't find anything about it, but that doesn't mean it they haven't bought it.
~Yeah, Microsoft is so sneaky, you know they own GE, and GE makes cars and electricity and Microsoft makes computers and computer systems, if Microsoft wanted to they could shut down the country, since they practically own it anyway.
~They don't make cars, they make car parts.
~NO, they make the actual cars!!  I think they even bought up a whole bunch of that car company that was going bankrupt.
~You mean GM?
~No, not GM, I think it was Ford.
(click click click on the iPhone.....what website are they looking at that is agreeing with this idea?)
~Microsoft is so sneaky.  I wonder if they make airplanes too?  Maybe they made Air Force One.
~They made a plane for "he who shall not be named"
~Oh, that is true.....I bet his plane is even better than Air Force One.
(who is "he who shall not be named"??  I wonder, as I eat my eggnog pancakes)
~One day I am going to meet him, and I am, like, going to be so bold as to walk right up to him and call him Bill!
~No Way!  You wouldn't do that!  You would be too scared!
~I totally will do that!  
~Will you ask him if he owns Pepsi?
~Yeah!  But you know he will deny it.  He is sneaky like that!  
~We really should buy some Yum stock (these guys buy stock?) Once word gets out that Microsoft owns Pepsi and Pepsi owns Yum it will be worth millions!  We will be so rich because we used our iPhones for good instead of evil and figures out "he who shall not be named" plan for global dominance.  

And now, dear readers, because I love you, I will not force you to hear about how "he who shall not be named" has a secret deal in the works to buy Apple, or how if you "bing" Apple it tells you that you can't do that and then it takes you to Microsoft's website.  I will spare you the details of how Bill Gates and Steve Jobs may have been secretly working together for years, and it is possible that Apple bought part of Ford too. 

I will tell you that IHOP has the best holiday pancakes ever made, and they are so good that it was almost worth having to listen to this conversation to be able to eat them........but if I ever see these guys in my IHOP again, I will leave and go to Denny's!


  1. GE MAKES electricity?!?! Fascinating! And I agree about ihop and their holiday pancakes! Delicious!

  2. Oh my gosh I needed that laugh!!! THANK YOU!

  3. I love ihop but I can't go there anymore because ours is disgustingly dirty. If I want to eat in filth, I'll stay home, thank you very much.

  4. I really want gingerbread pancakes now. People who talk loudly deserve all the mocking they get.

    My brother loves his iphone so much he started his own blog called "My Appinions." Truth.

    And, to answer your question, I grew up in Tempe, which is west of Gilbert. Have fun and soak up the warmer weather.

  5. First, I LOVE IHOP! I may need a Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity tomorrow (Do they still even offer that?)

    The first time I saw Yum Brands on the Fox News Channel, I remember thinking...what a stupid name. Who would name a company that? And now I own the stock. :)

    I maybe have been at that table. lol.

  6. Don't you just love the lines of reasoning that some people follow???

    Taco Bell only serves Pepsi must own Taco Bell?

    I only DRINK maybe I own it???

    I guess I should "Bing" it!

  7. Hi Tracie,

    Oh my! A similar situation happened to me last week. It's so annoying when you are trying to have a conversation, especially because I was with my grandmother, and the people in the next booth were SO loud.

    I just wanted to let you know that IHOP has been exposed for food safety issues and animal cruelty in its supply chain. For more details, please check out:

    I truly appreciate your taking the time to read this.

    Have a wonderful week!


    Emily J. Spivak

  8. LOL! Everything's a conspiracy theory!

  9. Oh my! That is so hilarious. And from a computer science standpoint..I think that these guys are moronic. This is why iPhones should be burned.

  10. What? Google is out now? Why didn't I know that?

  11. So, am I not allowed to Google anymore? And what the crap is bing? Dude, I so totally gotta look that up. Don't you love loud and annoying conversations like that?

  12. i think microsoft owns me - can't believe i wasn't following you - i thought i was

    what ... a turd i am

  13. amazing how my eyes honed in on "eggnog pancakes" oh my! and gingerbread pancakes too? I need to go to ihop right now!

  14. I thought Microsoft owns everything? This is so funny!

  15. Now I totally HAVE TO Google YUM!
    Thanks for linking up to Time Travel Tues - you rock!