From Tracie: on the verge.

Monday, January 24, 2011

on the verge.

I sit here.

On the verge of tears.

It seems to be all too common lately.

The smallest things seem insurmountable.

The hurts and hearts of others seem too much to even hear.

My ability for empathy overwhelms me.

My cynicism and anger scare me.

My need for something unknown is drowning me.

My insecurities paralyze me.

I try to rest in God's hands....but that is a lie, because I know that I am no where near them, and the blame for that lies solely with me.

This is honestly from the verge.


  1. I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I wish there was something I could do to take your burdens and worries away. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and virtual hugs this morning.

  2. Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
    For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matt.11:28-30

  3. Oh... how many times do we RUN from God's hands... & rest...

    Hugs to you...

  4. Hang in there. I know I've had times like this. I sometimes have to make a conscious choice to get up and get going and not letting my own mind get me down.
    It's tough and I struggle every day.

  5. WOW Tracie! Just want to give you a BIG ((((HUG))).

  6. ((hugs)) Its hard out there, just keep your head up hun!

  7. I think part of moving on from a fear or mood is to honor it through creative expression, which this does well. I wrote a dark poem about winter last week and was able to find the bittersweet beauty in the ugliness of it.

  8. ((hugs)) --because we don't kiss on the cheek :)

  9. thinking about you -- hope things get easier!

  10. Seriously?
    Just know I love ya babe and if you EVER need anything, I am just a SKype phone call away.
    Sorry to hear the verge is nigh.
    Ugh.Life is really tough sometimes isn't it?
    I'm ready to WIN the big one any day now....

  11. I see your pain in your writing. I hope whatever sadness is enveloping your life fades away soon. Thinking good thoughts about you, for you.

  12. OH sweetie as survivors we often bite off more then we can chew, wanting to save everyone and often times drowning ourselves in the process. HUGS cause you so need them

  13. Thanks for being willing to share your honesty. It is a good thing for certain, but it doesn't always feel like a good thing in the moment.

  14. Oh, honey, I think we all have days like this. When we just lay in bed, but it's too hard to even move.

    Put it all in God's hands, all our strengtht comes from HIM.

    You will be able to do things through HIM, that you couldn't do on your own.

    I'll pray for you. I fight this same battle, too. Moreso in the winter.

  15. This is raw and powerful.

    Let me know if there's anything I can do.

  16. I'm sorry you are on the verge! That's an awful feeling! I do hope you are better soon!

  17. When I feel like you do, I cry my eyeballs out in the shower. Then I pray this prayer while the water drips on my face...

    "Let the desires of my heart match your will for my life."

    My heart gets transformed every single time. I also end really clean cause I cried in the shower.

    Hang in there.

  18. Beautiful. Powerful.

    You will get through this. I believe in you.

    I also believe you are so much closer to God's hands than you think you are. Like a spotter for a gymnast walking the balance beam He walks beside you. Just waiting for you to reach out and admit that you need Him.

    He believes in you, too.

  19. I can relate to those exact words, Tracie. I hope this is just for a day and you see the sun tomorrow.

  20. Wow Tracie, Really powerful to share that. I hope you find what you need. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.

  21. I'm sorry you're going through this.

  22. Di (Georgia)

    Sometimes when I can't speak or write, I find some of how I feel on your blog. Today is one of those days. I feel you, sister.

    giant georgia hugs from diana

  23. Don't worry sweetie. Everything is gonna be alright. Hugs!

  24. I'm sorry. :( I hope you are feeling better soon. Hugs.

  25. Love to you, dear one.

    You are a powerful thing, but even powerful things feel the weight of the universe at times.

    It's okay to stumble, for feelings to press harder and to turn in circles a bit to get your bearings.

    But your legs and your brain and your heart are strong, and they will figure it out again in a bit.

    But until then...

    Love to you, dear one.

  26. You know, I am having just the kind of morning / week / whatever, that I can totally relate. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. Life is hard sometimes. Plain and simple. Hang in there.

  27. Tracie,
    I'm visiting for the first time. I hope you feel better very soon. I have days like this too.
    I've been exploring your site. We have some things in common.
    And thank you for dropping by and commenting on my post.

    Love and hugs to you,

  28. I've been there. That line where the needs of the world feel overwhelming and the ability of people to be good seems so far away. It can pass. Even if you don't feel close to God, talk to him anyway. {hugs}

  29. May the sun kiss your face and warm your tears until your heart turns a smile.

  30. I had a few years that I was angry at God. Sometimes I talked to him. Sometimes I even yelled at him. No matter how angry I was, I knew he was always there within arms reach if I really needed him. I also knew that he could handle my anger easily.

    When I feel as you do, I don't want people telling me it will be alright. I do want someone close to listen to me if I can talk. I sometimes write my feelings on paper like you did with your poems. Sometimes I just want my husband to hold me quietly while I cry. Crying cleanses all the hurts away, at least for awhile.

    I am sending you safe (((Hugs))) and prayers to help you feel better soon, but not until you are ready. Sometimes I just need to feel bad for awhile before I am ready to let joy back into my life. Sometimes I just need to remember how bad it was before I can be grateful for how good my life is now. Do what you need to do to take care of you.

  31. ((((((Tracie)))))))

    Just wanted to let you know that I'm listening.