From Tracie: Glimpses of Change

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Glimpses of Change

Tonight I found an old song that I loved, but it had been rerecorded when the artist formed a new band. It was the same, but different. It had been changed.

Recently, I reached for a book that spoke to my heart. I was looking for the emotional attachment and inspiration experienced the first time I read it. I kept the book on the left side of my book drawer, because I knew I would need it again, but I felt emotionally removed from it this time, at the very moment my heart was longing to make a connection.

It had been a year since I spent time with someone, and when we got together again, I saw the changes. Different. Unexpected. I have a hard time forgiving these changes, much less embracing them, as if I think that person should stay the same for me. And I pull back, a whisper telling me I don't fit in this new world that has been created.

In one day I hear myself declare, "I want this situation to change!" and in that same day I feel this, "I am scared of change. I don't know how to do it." and I sit in the same place, overwhelmed.

Something hit my heart, solidly, like a brick. I vowed to remember, to count that lesson, to record the change. But the next moment I was distracted, and walked away. I forgot something which had, just a second earlier, been so clear.

I reach out for a connection. Something to move my heart. Something to move my mind. Something to give me direction to a change I so desperately want. And I quickly hide from those thoughts.

Again I hear myself declare my desire for change, and I sit, unmoving, my hands tied.

I am listening to this song that I have loved, and I wince at changes I am not open to hearing. And then I laugh, because at the heart of the song, I hear a message about running away and standing still, a message about change.

And for just a second, I see the glimpse of something clearly...and then it changes, and the glimpse is gone.
Pour Your Heart Out

Do you have this change thing figured out? 
Do you embrace change, or hide from it?


  1. You go girl. Change is hard but usually so worth it in the end. Love this post and love you! You are a remarkable soul!

  2. I can relate completely.
    I know that I need to change something in my life. I just don't know what...and the thing is I'm not looking either. I'm terrified of it.
    I keep saying next week, next week, next week....
    Change is hard.

  3. Your writing is so wonderful, you know that right? I think we all have issues with change in many areas. Especially if we have fond memories of that thing before. The book I think was more about YOU having grown and changed then the book changing..

  4. So very true. Many times over many years I have picked up some of those first books that were like bibles to me in the beginning of this journey home and thought "why was this all so profound back then" Because I needed it to be and we are wiser and much more capable of feeling (finding) our own answers from within. great post

  5. So beautifully written.

    I have a problem with change... I want things to stay the same and to be completely different... all at once.

  6. Love this. I can completely sympathize with what you mean.

  7. Meh. Change is hard, for me at least. I like things to stay the same. Mostly. :)

    I can totally relate to this post.

  8. I am not very good with change and don't spring something on me suddenly because I will avoid it at all costs. I am trying to get better about letting things happen as they will and going with the flow of life but I'm not great at it. Good luck with your quest for making peace with change and if you find the secret to it all, please share!

  9. Tracie, did you get the Rock yet?

  10. I can definitely relate. Change can be scary at times, but I'm learning that I must embrace it in order to move forward with my life. It's tough and everyday is a challenge, but I'm getting there.

  11. I heard this quote today by Steve Rother "All change leads to higher vibrations." It really resonated with me so I thought perhaps I'd share it with you as well. Change is inevitable as they say, I like the thought of it being purposeful and leading to a higher vibration.

    Peace to you on your journey!