Monday, January 02, 2012

Thoughts On A Year Of Courage

Last year I picked the word courage for my one word focus. I put a lot of thought into that word before I picked it. I had a lot of ideas how I was going to do this whole courage thing. Now that 2011 has come to a close (am I the only one who is happy to see it go?) I am looking back and seeing that courage was not at all what I thought it would be.

The written things: When I look at the list of intentional courageous choices I wrote in my one word blog post last year, I can honestly say there were a lot of times I did choose courage. I looked at that list on so many hard days, and made myself read it.

The unwritten things: My secret list of things I was going to do - not one of them was accomplished. But to balance that out, there were some things I never dreamed or imagined would come my way (working with the amazing people at Band Back Together is a huge one!) that I stepped out in courage and got involved with.

The honest things: Remember when I said I had a lot of ideas how I was going to do this courage thing? What that really means is this - I had visions of the goals on my secret list that I was going to accomplish, and how they would tie in with my courage theme.

I never had that spiritual moment when God revealed a word to me, so I picked one. And I'm not saying that was wrong, or even that my choice was wrong, but there was a part of me that was so prepared to control this journey down the courage path. I was composing victory blog posts in my mind by the end of January 2nd. And I spent a lot of time frustrated that those plans and victory blog posts did not come to fruition.

When I examine that frustration, I realize it is really tied into that secret list of mine - and has very little to do with my courage focus. I realize that I still see courage the way I wrote about it back in the beginning of January 2011. When I compare my year to that list, I feel a lot of the frustration melt away. I certainly didn't live the list perfectly, but I was blessed during the times I intentionally focused on it and let it inform and inspire my choices.

I'm grateful for this year of courage. I'm grateful that my word traveled with me and touched my life, even when it wasn't happening the way I had imagined it would.

I still have more road to travel on the courageous path. I'm pretty sure it is something I will be working on for the rest of my life. I'm okay with that.

Courage

Tomorrow I'm going to tell you my word for 2012.
I am going in a new direction this year, and I'm really excited about it.

15 comments:

  1. I find your honesty and willingness to examine herself and work towards change to be courageous.
    Can't wait to hear your new word:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm anxious to find out what next year's word is!

    You know, we can rarely cross off every item on a list. The plan changes. Our path changes. Things come up, and that's fine. Cheers to your year of courage!

    ReplyDelete
  3. expectations are a funny thing, huh? Had i written a list of what i wanted from recovery when i got clean&sober, i would have sold myself short. big hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was so glad to see it go too.
    I'm glad that in the back of your mind and deep within your heart, you always held that word in everything you did.
    My word to sum up 2011 was survival.
    This year "ass kicking"
    Wait that's 2...

    ReplyDelete
  5. im so glad to have met you this year and to hear what the beginning of your year was like.. learning how you have been courageous this year as a result of staying focused on your word. *HUG*

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sounds like you did well living out your year! Can't wait to see what you picked for this year.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am also SO glad to say adios to 2011!!! Here's to 2012 :) And yes--courage, like so many goals and words, is definitely a life long thing

    ReplyDelete
  8. Courage. It is my favorite virtue.

    Looking forward to your word for 2012. Mine for last year was: perseverance.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Picking a 'word' for the year is a great thing to do. Our church's word is 'opportunity'. I haven't chosen one for myself... I need to mull it over more, I think. Take courage!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Can't wait to find out what this year's word is!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  11. i bet your new word is laugh...or cluttered...or brainiac or something. cuz you just love me so darn much...
    and you want to expose my blog more...since i am a lazy butt and cant seem to blog at all...
    sigh.
    U R truly courageous tracie and i cant wait to hear your REAL word...cuz no matter how long i stay away yours and Angels blog are the first one i visit...:)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I was glad to see 2011 end, too. I'm curious about this year's word. Thinking of doing something similar but you know I can't stick with anything...maybe my word should be 'perseverance'.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You go, girl! You inspired me to pick a word, which turned into wordS. You've got this!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I find My secret goals are almost never achieved - but that I get something better instead. Or, better for me, I should say.

    ReplyDelete