- I have learned that healthy people pass gas thirteen times a day.
- I have learned which one is Beavis and which one is Butt-head.
- I have learned if you tell your in-laws you don't eat collard greens, they will ask you where you are from every time they see you, even though you explain each time that you spent most of your life in the south.
- I have learned how to use a pole saw.
- I have learned that man never landed on the moon, and airplanes are too heavy to stay up in the sky.
- I have learned if Michael Scott says something disastrously funny, my husband will repeat it at a restaurant.
(example: this wine has an oaky afterbirth)
- I have learned that putting baby powder on before going to bed will make you sleep more comfortable and feel cooler.
- I have learned that Thrall is the greatest Orc chieftain who ever lived.
- I have learned that lime water is far superior to all other drinks.
- I learned it is possible to talk about the hard things in life when you have someone who loves you unconditionally. I love you Thomas.
- ...and did I leave out?...Husbands create great blogging material.
- The first rule I ever learned was the Leigh Anne rule: Tracie is always right. And even if I'm right, I'm wrong, unless Tracie says I'm right. If Tracie says it is okay for me to right, then I can be right, but not as right as she is.
- I have learned I can't go walking around in public dressed like I don't have a wife.
- I have learned how to treat books - pick them up carefully, sniff, hug, pet, set them down gently, and even read them occasionally.
- I have learned that Jane Austen is dead.
- I have learned that it takes two people to download something on our computer. And one of them can not be Katarina.
- I have learned that it is okay to sing at the top of your lungs in church. (and around the house - while frolicking, skipping, and doing an interpretive dance)
- I have learned to be discreet.
- I have learned that a Kotex is not a tampon, but a brand name, and a tampon is not a pad, and not all pads are the same (and neither are all bras), and so on and so on, blah, blah, blah.
- I have learned never try to teach Tracie to drive a stick shift unless you are somebody else. Anybody else.
- I learned that I would not want to live one day in this world without my wife. I love you Tracie.
- ....and did I leave out?..... Lacrosse is the original American sport.