-It's a Musical Kind of Day

I have been busy working on other writing projects this week, but I don't want to leave you dear readers out in the cold, so here is a little present from me to you....

The Office....The Musical!

(because I seriously can't get enough of watching this!)

(No, I didn't make this video, and I have no idea if that link to download the "cd mixtape" is any good, so visit that at your own risk!) 

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-The Red Letters Project

The Red Letters Project is an electrifying performance of rock music based on the words of Jesus from the Book of Matthew in the New Living Translation. This dynamic, one-of-a-kind listening experience features 40 tracks—both sung and narrated. The Red Letters Project is an excellent gift for teens, young adults, lovers of God’s Word, and music fans. A unique alternative to spoken-word audio Bibles.

Even though I read that description before Tyndale sent this cd set to me, I wasn't wholly  prepared for what it was going to be.  When they said "rock" they really meant it!  Once I put it in the stereo, I found myself drawn in and really enjoyed it. The arrangements were really well done.  The set that I have also includes the book of Matthew which is nice because it makes it easy to follow along, important because the cds aren't the entire book, but just Jesus' words. It is a great way to get some scripture playing through your house or car.  In fact, I think this would make a great road trip cd!

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-What I Meant to Say About.....

Jenn asked, "Will you participate in impersonating Princess so we can wish her a Happy Birthday?"
My answer, "Yes"

What I meant to say was.......Impersonating a princess, isn't that a crime?  Are you trying to get me into trouble?  Will I end up thrown in a dark, internet-less dungeon for this?

I put on my princess outfit and asked my daughter, "Don't I look princess-like?"


What I meant to say was.........Don't make fun of me in your tiara hat because I am risking life and internet in a bright room to wear this outfit.  This is serious stuff-be supportive!

When I typed, "You really are a Princess and I hope you have a wonderful birthday"

What I meant to say was.......Since you are a princess does that mean you have special power?  Does that mean you get to bestow titles on people?  Can you knight me?  Can women be knights?  

*quick google search* 

Dame!  Can you Dame me?  (that really doesn't sound right!)

I think in order to make me Dame Tracie you need something your Princess outfit doesn't have....a scepter...or a sword, but I didn't have a sword lying around, so we are going with a scepter.

Here she is......

The Princess of Sarcasm with her royal rose scepter 

ready to pronounce me Dame Tracie

(I wonder if impersonating the princess is going to be a problem in my quest to be knighted....uh, damed? You won't throw me in the internet-less dungeon, will you?
Nah, I won't worry about that....the Blogafia will break me out!
Wait, Princess is also the Godmother....dang it woman, is there a realm where you don't rule?)

To THE wonderful Princess of Sarcasm....Godmother of us all.......Happy 21st Birthday!

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-Why Clothing Choices are Important

Did you know that we love to eat at CiCis?  We do.  We love the pizza (I eat Alfredo....yummy with no awful red sauce!) we love the dessert (I even take pictures of it sometimes!) In fact, we love it so much that the manager, who is now our friend, gave Thomas a shirt and hat one day that he wears all the time!

Yesterday we went on our daily weekly trip to CiCis, and Thomas happened to be wearing his CiCis shirt.  Which created this fun moment when the girl at the register, who was new, tried to figure out if she was supposed to know who he is...but that is a different story!

My story is this.......At the table they have these shakers of Parmesan Cheese.  A family sat behind us with a little girl who was probably about two.  The mother went to get food and the little girl picked up the Parmesan cheese shaker and proceeded to lick it!  YUCK!  Thomas was facing them and said, "ah look, she is cute"  I looked and said, "YUCK!"   She didn't just lick it, she tried to fit the whole thing in her mouth.

-The mother comes back and takes it from her and says no.

-Then the girl picks it up again and starts licking it.

-The mother takes it back and sets it on the table, "no" she says.

-The girl picks it up and licks it.

(are you sensing a pattern here?)

-The third time the mother tries to take it the girl holds it out of her reach and purposefully drops it on the floor(where it landed top down-gross), as if to say, "If I can't have it, nobody is going to have it".

-The mother's response....to pick it up and set it back down on the table.

At his point it was like a slow motion moment in a movie.....we watched as the little girl reaches for the shaker...she is reaching.....her fingertips are about to touch it....and then.....time speeds up......Thomas swoops in and grabs the very dirty shaker before the girl can get it and replaces it with the shaker from our table! The mom looks up, and is about to say something to him (and probably not something very happy...but come on her kid was about to put that nasty thing in her mouth!) and then she looks directly at the logo on his shirt and closes her mouth.  Obviously she thought he worked there, and decided not to make a scene.

Sometimes wearing official shirts from the restaurants you eat at could save a life...or at least prevent some germs!

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-Project 365 Week 17

So much yarn...so little time!

 "Here is a little piece of sunshine that fell and made a flower!"
Isn't that sweet??
I love how you can see that last week Katarina did her own nails...multi-color is very in amongst six year olds right now!

All dressed up and ready to go.....somewhere!
These puppies make me think of every cheesy romance movie moment with two people standing across a long field from each other...I can feel the slow motion coming!

 This stop sign just didn't make it!

As always, I didn't grow these flowers, I only photographed them!

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and Wednesday, April 21 was Denim Day.  This is me, proudly wearing my jeans on Wednesday to show my support for sexual assault victims and survivors.   

This is starting to feel like a weekly posting, but once again Katarina has lost a tooth!
This time it was the top left tooth.
At this point I think applesauce and soup are going to be on the menu for a while!

Hosted by Cecilyand Pam


Hosted by Chris Moments of You Hosted by Linda

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-Brutal Attack on a Child at School and How You Can Help

UPDATE!!!  After 132 emails sent, Jane got a notice from the school that her son will be transferred to another school on Monday!!!  Thank you everyone who sent emails and passed the word on about this!

A fellow blogger, Jane, has a serious issue at her house.  Her son was brutally attacked at school. 

Just to let you know how bad the attack was, here is a picture of Jane's son....

Here is the latest update on Jane's Blog

Basically, Jane is getting the run around from school officials about getting him transferred to another school.  The problem is that the attack isn't a one time problem.  The kids have started following him around and threatening him.  He is loosing weight, he is scared to leave his house (much less go to school) and the principal has told Jane that it is too late in the year for her to homeschool him.  But that isn't even the worst thing, she has also been informed that he has missed too many days and if she doesn't bring him back to school, she will be in violation of the law!  How insane is that....the law should be protecting this child, not exposing him to more harm and trauma.

Now that you have read this, and are as angry as I am, I'm sure you wished there was something you could do....well, guess what?  There is!!  We are starting a letter writing campaign to the principal and superintendent.  To make it really easy for you, Princess has even written out sample letters, you can copy and paste them or write your own - whatever you want, but please take a few minutes to help out this precious child.

Here is all the info you need:

Email the principal, Mrs. Clark at llclark@lbschools.net and let her know that you are disappointed in their lack of cooperation and their failure to keep Islaam safe. The matter has recently been presented to the superintendent, Christopher J. Steinhauser. We are hoping he will be more helpful. You can reach him at lbetschel@lbschools.net  and let him know that you are familiar with Islaam’s case at Jefferson Middle School and that you have seen photos of the brutal attack and that you are SURE they will do the right thing and provide him with a safe learning environment at another school within their district.

Please send a copy to Jane at knottylbc@yahoo.com for her records.

If you would like to join us by posting a plea for help on your blog, Jane would be very grateful. Tweet using the #blogfia hashtag. You may copy my post and tweek it to fit yours if you wish. Please grab the blogfia button as well.

Our goal is to have their inbox flooded with emails by tomorrow morning when they get to work. 

Please send emails up until 3 pm EST / noon PST on Saturday, April 24. 

If Jane doesn't get a positive response we may do it again next week. We will give them an adequate amount of time to respond, but will stay on them if needed.

Sample Emails:

Dear Ms. Clark,

I have been following the story about the recent attack on a student in your school, Islaam, and I am outraged that he has not been given an opportunity to transfer to another school. Your lack of action in this case is unacceptable. How are children supposed to learn if they are in an environment where they fear for their safety? Your inability to protect him is a serious issue. I am hoping you will take the necessary steps to protect this child’s mental and physical well being and do whatever is necessary to rectify this situation immediately. 

________________________________

Dear Mr. Steinhauser,

I have been following the story about the recent attack on a student at Jefferson Middle School, Islaam, and I am disappointed that he has not been provided an opportunity to enroll in another school within the district. Children need to be provided with a safe environment to learn. I hope you will move quickly to rectify this situation so that Islaam will be able to get back in school as soon as possible and work towards healing emotionally from the brutal attack. Please do not let this young man down. 

_________________________________

Also, you can check out this great vlog from Angel!

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-Stick it to Sexual Assault

 

If sticky doesn't work, click here!

If sticky doesn't work, click here!

Sexual abuse and assault is a prevalent problem not only in this country, but all around the world.  I guarantee I am not the only survivor you know....but I might be the only one who has told you about it.  If you are looking for resources or information for yourself or a friend, check out the links in my sidebar under "survivor stuff" and also read about the movie that changed my life.

You can have lots of fun with Sticky Notes over here...

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- Love for the Loney Family

Last week, Ethan Loney lost his fight with cancer. Although I never met Ethan or his family in real life, I felt so connected to them through Supah's updates and and all the prayers we have shared for them. She asked us to release a white balloon in his memory this week. I wasn't able to get a balloon, but as I was praying for the family this week, I made one....

Ethan, in your two years here on this earth, you touched hearts all across the country.  I will be praying for your family.

Please remember Ethan's family this week, and also little Jaden, Ethan's friend who is fighting the same cancer right now.

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- I Am a Guest

I am a guest....that is right.....my very first gig as a guest blogger!  

So exciting!  

Please go check out A Katarina Story over at Ramblings by Nicole!  Nicole is a sweetheart and a great blogger.  While you are there make sure you tell her congratulations....she is pregnant, and this week is her baby boy blog shower!  (which means lots of great giveaways and prize opportunities for you!)

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Post-It Notes Tell an Important Story

.........this.........

For more Post-It Note fun you can go visit Supah Mommy!  She will have all the milk, cookies and Post-Its ready! =)

Don't forget my upcoming blog-a-thon to raise money for the Angela Shelton Foundation - to inspire and empower all survivors of sexual abuse and rape to heal and lead joyful lives!! ....and read about the movie and teaching materials that changed my life!!

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The Movie That Changed My Life

I am very open about being a sexual abuse survivor and talking about the abuse and all that I have gone through, but this wasn't always the case.  I used to live in denial, shame and fear...then I saw something that inspired me...

It was six years ago that I first heard about Angela Shelton.  She traveled across the county to meet all the women who shared her name as a fun way to interview women in America....what she found was that 28 out of 40 Angela Sheltons had been either raped, beaten or molested.  On her journey the she met an Angela Shelton who tracks sexual predators and lives in the same town as the filmmaker Angels Shelon's father, who sexually abused her and her siblings for years.  Watching this movie inspired me to admit the sexual abuse I survived as a child and start healing.  The support I have received from the Army of Angels has changed my life.  I have learned to search for joy in every moment!

Searching for Angela Shelton quickly changed from being just another documentary to being a movement of healing for abuse survivors.  In the years since, Angela has spoken in Congress, universities, military bases, high schools, community centers, conferences and seminars worldwide....spreading her message of healing.

Through all those speaking engagements and hearing from thousands of abuse survivors, Angela began to understand that trauma is like a sword you are carrying around inside of you.  She started having Removing the Sword of Trauma Events and wrote the Warrior Workbook.  It is for survivors who want to move past the pain and find healing and joy.

What I am really excited about is the SAAM Educational Package -  The Army of Angels Surviving Abuse Awareness Method Educational Package. You get all of Angela Shelton’s materials! This is a great resource for educators, therapists, advocates and survivors. You can visit Angela Shelton's store for more information about this package and all of her teaching materials.  Be warned, it will change your life.  I know it sure changed mine......and I am very thankful!

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-Project 365 Week 15

Katarina got this church nightlight in her basket from her grandma.

"Decoy!?!?  I ain't scared of no stinkin' decoy!"

Music + A Book = A Perfect Afternoon

We were hanging out with Thomas while he did a quick tree job on Wednesday.  Katarina hopped out of the car and helped him....I stayed in the car and took pictures!  

 (I was having a little bit too much fun playing with Picnik today!  I might need an intervention!)

When we go to CiCis for pizza I always get the same dessert.  2 brownies and half a cinnamon role.  Thomas stares at my plate like I am crazy.  What do you think...too much dessert?

I didn't grow this beautiful flower, I just photographed it!

What great pictures did you catch this week?

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli




Hosted by Chris Moments of You Hosted by Linda

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-Random Walks and Trees

When Katarina and I visited family for Thanksgiving we spent some time at my cousin's house.  One thing we did was go for a walk.....

We visited her neighbor's horses....

Along the way we saw the most random tree.....

This strangeness warranted a little trespassing to get a closer look....

Someone took the time to graft these two very different trees together.  Who does that?

 Cousins and Friends!  So sweet!
 (This is one of my favorite pictures from that day!)

For more pictures of trees....most less random than mine....check out this week's Thematic Photography with Carmi.

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Who Votes for Skipping April?

I have put off writing this, but in the spirit of open and honest authenticity, here it is: April.

April is hard for me.

April 1st is the anniversary date of the death of my uncle. When I was a kid he was my favorite relative, everyday he spent hours playing board games, telling me stories, watching old movies and tv shows, listening to me read, giving me all his attention. But there was something else he gave me, something I was in denial about for a very long time. Sexual abuse. Every day for five years. 

I clearly remember when he died. He had been in the hospital for several days and in my father's family when someone is in the hospital, life stops. Everyone takes off of work and stays out of school to be at the hospital the entire time. On this day I went to a neighbor's house for a few hours to borrow some books and eat some lunch. She brought me and my cousin back to the hospital that afternoon. A family member met us by the elevators and said, "He died." I was crushed, I remember crying hysterically right there in front of about 25 people waiting for the elevator to arrive. She looked at me and said, "It's over."  Just like that.

"It's over."

What did that even mean? In my nine year old brain I was angry. Angry at her for being so cold. Angry at my family for sending me away from the hospital. Angry at my uncle for dying. Angry at all the people staring at me in the hallway. I also remember my cousin who was also standing there (not the one who had been with me at the neighbor's house) saying "Stop crying." That made me angry too. Here my world was falling apart in the middle of the hallway and he expected me to stop crying. The neighbor took me back to her house. God bless her.

It took me a long time to forgive that family member for doing that to me. I didn't understand why she had acted that way. For years I spent the first day of April in grief. I've never played an April Fools joke; there was no joking on that day in my life. When I got older, I finally admitted to myself that in the midst of all of those memories of attention and fun there were other memories. Memories of abuse. And what plagues me even more, darkness where memories should be. I also eventually made peace with this family member, I came to find that she had her own set of memories from a childhood spent with this man. She had a very good reason to stand there cold and unaffected with only the words "It's over,"  for a eulogy. For me, it still is not over.

Now on this day, I still grieve. I grieve for the man who was probably my best friend as a child. I grieve for the childhood he stole from me and for the person I might have been. I grieve for the other childhoods he stole (at least three he was convicted of before I was born, but no jail sentences given, and others I know of that he was never charged with). I grieve the fact that I had a father and grandparents who knew this man was a child molester, they still sent me into a room alone with him each day for five years with no thought to my safety, and chose to cover up the abuse they knew was happening. I enter into this month feeling conflicted at every turn. I retreat so far into my own mind and memories that I'm sure it is difficult for anyone who has to live with me. 

So what is the answer to all this grief?  Joy! Joy is always the answer.

So today I choose to rejoice.

I rejoice in a husband who holds me when I cry, and understands me the best he can. I rejoice in a God who loves me so much He pursues me with a passion that is simultaneously scary and beautiful. I rejoice in a daughter who, even as I write this, has made me a pretend snack of all of my favorite things. She teaches my inner child how to do fun and carefree everyday. I rejoice in friends who support me in my healing, teach me how to be open, love me even when I feel damaged, and show me my wholeness. 

This April has brought all the conflict and grief of years past and mixed it with the stress and things surrounding me now, until I have thought I would break under the weight of it. As I fight against behaviors rooted in my survivor coping techniques (those techniques that hurt more than they help), I fight to open my mouth and speak out my feelings. To not punish those around me for things that happened so long ago or for things happening today that they can't control any more than I can, and to have real conversations (not mindless fights) about the things we can and should control today.

I was reminded this weekend of a picture I drew several years ago on an April 1st.  I dug back through my archives to find it and was hit with how true that picture still is, so I will leave you with this...

...and I will go make puppets with my daughter.
And live in JOY. 

And as to skipping April? Not me!
I vote to overcome April.
To stand strong throughout it (even if I can only stand on my knees)
Because that is what surviving really is...and I am a survivor! 

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