From Tracie: December 2010

Friday, December 31, 2010

December Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse

Many thanks to all of you who submitted and all of you who read the submissions. You keep this carnival, the awareness, support, and healing going each month.

Let's jump right in.

Advocacy and Awareness
~Rick Belden submitted New Documentary:"Boys and Men Healing" at Poetry Dreams and the Body
Information about a new documentary that deals with the impact the sexual abuse of boys has on both the individual and society, and the importance of healing and speaking out for the male survivors to end the devastating effects. 

~Angela Rose submitted The Binding Project from PAVE.
The Binding Project seeks to unite people by empowering them to take ownership over zip tie bindings and other forms of restraint often used by perpetrators as a means of control and power. 

~J submitted In the Face of a Goblin at The Vortex of Memory. 
A powerful post that examines how it is not always possible to escape memories and feelings as well as understanding depression, resolution, and reaching out for help. 

~Hope submitted Loses and Gains at The Hope for Trauma
Hope shares how learning to listen to her body has helped her find control over her life. 

~Mike McBride submitted Trying to Make Sense at Child Abuse Survivor
Interesting insight into why some people may try to explain away or deny the sexual abuse and violence that a survivor has lived through. 

~Patricia Singleton submitted Cry When You Need To at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker 
Patricia:As an incest survivor, Christmas is not always a great holiday for me during the years that memories come up from childhood Christmases and even sometimes Christmases as an adult as you will see in my post.

~Colleen submitted Am I Invisible at Surviving by Grace
Invisibility. I think that is something that we have all struggled with at one time or another. Colleen has insight that she doesn't have to accept invisibility if she doesn't want it.

Healing and Therapy
~Patricia Singleton submitted Survivor Needs Meme List at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker 
Patricia:This post is a list of survivor needs and wants that I wrote back in 2001. Today, especially around the Christmas holiday, this is a reminder to take care of your needs and wants and when you are feeling stressed out by the holidays. 

In the News
~Erin Merryn was voted 2010 Suburban Newsmaker of the Year in the Chicago area for her work with Erin's Law and the speaking out against sexual abuse that she did this last year.

I'm not going to introduce or comment on survivor stories or poetry, because I believe they stand alone and speak for themselves.

Survivor Stories
~Miss Robin submitted On Being Living Porn at The Difficult Things

~Miss Robin submitted Prey at The Difficult Things

~Clueless submitted On Being Borderline at Clinically Clueless 

Art Therapy
~I want to share My Name Is Tracie, the video I made for the My Name Is Project. I am used to sharing my story through words, so making a video was a stretching experience for me. It was hard, but healing. 

Other Things
This doesn't fit into a category, but with it being the Christmas season, Patricia Singleton shared The Spirit of Christmas at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker, she says, "This was a wonderful email that I receive most years around Christmas and I decided to share the Christmas story on my blog."

and finally, Lynn C. Tolson wants to remind everyone: 
"Support for the Survivor: What to do when someone reveals that he/she has been abused?"...BE REAL

B - Believe him/her and believe in him/her
E - Educate yourself; share your knowledge

R - Reassure him/her that it was not his/her fault
E - Empower with information and resources
A - Ask what you can do and do your best
L - Listen without judgment to what is said

Thanks again for another great carnival this month! I'll see y'all in January for the next edition. 

At midnight it will officially be the end of the holiday season and the beginning of a New Year. I am ready to put all the difficult things of 2010 behind me and move forward into new things for 2011. 

I am not a resolution maker. The very idea of resolutions feels extremely stressful to me, but I do have things that I am hoping for and praying about and working on as this new year starts. And I look forward to sharing those things with all of you as they come to fruition. 

What about you? Do you make resolutions? 
What are you hoping for or working towards as the new year begins? 

Sunday, December 26, 2010

A Glimpse of Christmas

 Ornaments from a precious friend. 

This is the side that Katarina was in charge of decorating. 

It is rare to get a picture with the three of us together. 
We need someone to follow us around with a camera and take care of that. 

As you can see, I got that Pillow Pet I was dreaming about, Katarina got a Pillow Pet.

Merry (late) Christmas from my family to yours. 

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Christmas Wish In An Alternate Universe

I feel that it is time I admit something to you. 

My secret longing. 

I can't think of a better time than Christmas to tell you my wish. 
The thing that I really want...but never admit out loud...

Sometimes I am in a store and I see the box.

It calls out to me.

I look around....

Is anyone watching?

No, it is safe.

An unseen force propels me towards the box. 

I pick it up.

I gaze longingly for a second...and then propelled back into reality, I put it down and walk away.

It is a Snuggie. 

I want a Snuggie.

I want to knit while wearing it.

Apparently I am 126 years old.



You see, there is this other thing that I am drawn to in the store.

I pick it up and feel the softness.

I give it a little squeeze.

It is a Pillow Pet.

I want a Pillow Pet.

I want to cuddle with it, and I want it to be a unicorn.

Apparently I am 7 years old.

I have figured something out though, this is actually a good thing.

How, you just admitted a love for Snuggies and Pillow is this a good thing?

I'm so glad you asked.

I believe if I cuddle my Unicorn Pillow Pet while wearing my Snuggie it will propel me into this alternate universe where my Snuggie Age is divisible by my Pillow Pet age.

This means that I will be 18 years old.

Which is really good....

because when I was 18, I totally could have pulled off those cute leggings I saw at the store the other day.

Monday, December 20, 2010

My Name is Tracie

A few years ago, Chris de Serres from (Wo)Men Speak Out made a video. It is a very honest look at his life as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. He entitled it My Name is Chris and posted it on youtube.

This year Chris was on Oprah. He was one of the 200 men who stood up and told the world that they had survived childhood sexual abuse. After the show, he was contacted by a participant named Jarrod.

Jarrod told him that the My Name is Chris video had helped in his recovery, and that he had made his own video entitled, My Name is Jarrod.

That was the birth of the My Name Is Project.

My Name Is Tracie

This is the story of my journey through this life.

The story of survival.

The story of Tracie.

My Name Is Tracie video link


The My Name Is Project is a survivor-driven project to educate the public and inspire the survivor communities to break the silence of abuse. The goal is to create a group of videos which tell the collective stories of abuse and trauma in our communities. It is open to any survivor who would like to make a video and have it included in the project.

More information about the project and videos can be found on the My Name Is Project Facebook Group.
My Name Is Chris, and all of the "My Name Is..." videos can be found here.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Accepting Submissions for the December Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse

It is time for the December Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse.  We will soon be leaving the holiday season behind. I hope that all of you are staying safe this month and practicing good self-care. I, for one, am looking forward to 2011 and the promise of a new year and a fresh start.

A quick side note! Please keep Marj in your thoughts and prayers this month. She will be having surgery on Dec. 23rd. 

The purpose of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse. All forms of abuse - physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, verbal - are discussed. We highlight blog posts from child abuse survivor stories, survivor art and poetry, child abuse as a topic in the news media, as well as PTSD, dissociation and other areas of the abuse aftermath that adult survivors are forced to deal with. We link to hopeful posts about therapy, recovery, and healing from abuse. All forms of child advocacy and awareness are included. 

All of our regular categories will be open this month:
-Advocacy and Awareness
-Healing and Therapy
-In the News
-Survivor Stories
-Art Therapy

I'm looking for new posts that you have written specifically for the carnival, or an old post from your archive. You are not limited to just one submission!

You can submit your posts here, use the form on the tab up there at the top of my page, or you can email your links to me directly at with "Blog Carnival Submission" in the subject line. 

I'll be taking submissions until midnight Wednesday, December 29th and the carnival will be posted on Friday the 31st. 

Thank you! I'm excited to read all of your fabulous submissions this month. Please let me know if you are interested in hosting the carnival one month in 2011. 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Happiness is Math...But Only A Very Specific Kind

Cowgirl Hat
Blue Jeans
+Trolley Ride

This was taken during our last week in Arizona while we were visiting Scottsdale. 


What is making you happy today? 
(other than math...which really doesn't make anyone happy!)

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

I Was A Spoiled Little Sick Girl with Much More Than Mommy

I am home! We successfully made it back to Florida with no naked pictures or TSA molestation. Now I just have to dig myself out of the pile of laundry that is currently holding me hostage, and try to get the suitcases stored on the closet shelf without them falling on my head (....again) and get over the cough that is left over from the plague that everyone in my family was sharing over the last couple of weeks.

That cough is kind of funny, because it fits in well with the last guest post I have for you. Actually it isn't is annoying and I feel like it will never end, and the only real sunny spot is that I finally got most of my voice back (that's right, I lost my voice, for over a was a near tragedy for everyone) but I am going to go with funny....and I am going to let everyone around me read what Vanessa wrote and demand some princess treatment of my own!

My last fabulous guest poster is Vanessa from Much More Than Mommy. She is also known as my partner in crime covert missions. She is fun and beautiful, and she has a list of demands that all husbands of sick wives should follow....

I Was A Spoiled Little Sick Girl

In a way, I kind of feel sorry for The Husband.
It’s not his fault that my mother was the absolute BEST caretaker in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD when I was sick.  It’s not his fault he can’t read my mind like she did and know just when I wanted a perfect grilled cheese sandwich, or when I just wanted to sit and stare mindlessly at the television. 
Mom just knew.
But now I’ve realized that mommies just should not get sick.  And, even when they are sick, they can pretty much carry on like they’re not.
This week, however, I was diagnosed with the flu.  With no fever or any other symptoms of the flu.  But since they did shove that swab up through my nose into my brain and swirled it around, I’m going to figure they knew what they were talking about.  I hope.
Being diagnosed with the flu meant actually needing to get some rest, though.  Which meant I actually needed The Husband to stay home from work to look after the girls – and me.  Which he did.  A very kind and super helpful friend picked Mini Me up for school and brought her home, but The Husband was on duty to get Li’l Bit to and from school, and entertain her while I was trying to rest, then both of the girls once Mini Me was home from school.
He did an excellent job of keeping the girls busy and letting me rest.  Even while he worked from home.  He was awesome at that.
He was not so awesome at being my nurse.
I’m not sure what I expected — certainly it is completely normal for him to lack the maternal instinct that my own mother had, or the oneI have when he’s sick and he does not have to ask for one darn thing since it basically appears as if out of thin air because I am so on top of things when he’s lying there, completely immobile, because he has the flu a cold he sneezed one time.
Bitter, table for one!
So I think that next time, I’m going to have to remember that he is not a mind reader, and just tell him what I want, which is:
  • to be waited on hand and foot.
  • grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch and dinner.
  • to have the broth dumped out of the soup before it’s heated, I don’t care how good it is for me.
  • a TV set up in the bedroom so I can watch all the TV I want without having to turn to Playhouse Disney or Nick Jr. even one time.
  • to be treated like a little princess for at least 24 hours.
That’s not too much to ask, is it?

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Quest for Celebrity with Lori from In Pursuit of Martha Points

Today I want to introduce you to Lori from In Pursuit of Martha Points. She is the go-to source for all things related to points on the Martha Scale. Her blog is a place to see the various highs and lows of points that she hits. Home improvement has never been so funny.
Sometimes Lori will pass out points to very lucky readers....or deduct points. Beware. Lori gets to do that because she is the keeper of the pointsEvery morning when I drink my coffee, out of my very own In Pursuit of Martha Points Mug, I am reminded that making that cup of coffee gives me 10 points, and I smile. 
Lori is also the organizer of the wildly exciting fund raiser, Project: Purse and Boots that has been making it's way across the country.

Quest for Celebrity

I want to be famous.

I was born for it.

I have all sorts of syllables in my name, it’s hugely lyrical. I’m really good at getting in and out of the back seats of cars and my arm is just the right shape to cradle bouquets of flowers.

Sadly, I was born to boring people.

I have no trust fund, no media empire, no estate, no oil fields and no pedigree.

And then, to make matters worse, I never got around to inventing the internet OR Facebook. I meant to write the Harry Potter books but I was just too busy, and then while I was in the middle of developing a fact-based show about tribal competition in various remote locations, “Survivor” came on the air and ruined it all for me.

But I’ve been practicing my whole life.

I spent most of my teenaged years rehearsing my Oscar Acceptance Speech for Best Original Screenplay in front of the bathroom mirror. I turned bathrobes into strapless evening gowns for my debut at the Met. I have tried on no fewer than 4,000 pairs of sunglasses to ensure that I found the pair that most flatteringly framed my face while concealing my identity from the paparazzi.

I have cultivated my “Really? For me?” gift-getting voice as well as my, “Get the hell out of my way!” imperious command. It took a couple of weeks, but I can arch an eyebrow better than Marlena Deitrich, and my coy smile would be the envy of Vivien Leigh. I can out-shout Bill O’Reilly or trade barbs with Stephen Colbert. If only they would invite me on their shows!

They could take me on as a protégé. Both of them. It could be a contest. Or, better yet, a reality tv show! Project: Battle Bimbo. Or Fame-Watch! Or… The Next Iron Maiden!

Clearly, I am a force to be reckoned with.

I don’t know what’s holding me back. Certainly I should be able to overcome the minor inconvenience of being born to a family obviously beneath me, as well as that minor little stumbling block of never having done anything to be famous for. And yet I remain trapped in persistent obscurity.

I have long suspected a conspiracy, I just can’t prove anything yet.

Conspirators are secretive. They’re a tricky group to catch in the act.

But I stand by my destiny.

Or, I will stand by my destiny as soon as I can find it.

I think it got into a taxi with Paris Hilton.