Friday, September 30, 2011

Blog Against Child Abuse - September 2011 Change Edition

Welcome to the September 2011 Edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse! This month our theme is change. We are headed towards fall, and I am ready to see some changes in life.

We got submissions that have inspired me and made me think about change in new ways, and lots of great submissions in our regular categories. I hope you are blessed as you read through them.

Change:
-Sandy Heppel from Sanative Scribe submitted, I Can Change How It Goes From Here
Sandy shares about a season of change in her life and how, as fall sets in, she is ready to celebrate the new season, because sometimes change is good.

-Brittany P from Butterfly Closures submitted, Inching to Change Perspectives on Our Worth After Child Abuse
Brittany shares her plans for some healthy changes she will make to help herself feel more consistently present throughout each day this fall.

-Mike McBride from Child Abuse Survivor submitted, September's Theme - Change
Mike shares how big changes in his life have affected him, and what he has leaned about change.

-Tracie from From Tracie submitted, Glimpses of Change
I share my feelings on change - how I long for it, how I hide from it, and how hard it is to find.


Healing and Therapy:
-Rose Smith from Phoenix submitted, Falling Back In Love With Myself
She wrote: "Child abuse has left me with a very poor picture of myself, this is something I'm working on changing."

-Lynn Tolson from Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story submitted, Tolson 4 TEARS On Change
Lynn shares her journey of learning about change, and realizing that it isn't an all or nothing event, but rather a step by step process.

-Patricia Singleton from Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker submitted, You Deserve Your Own Love Guest Post
She wrote: "The best thing that I ever did for myself in healing from incest was to learn to love myself."

-Julie from Poetic Princess Keeping it Real submitted, A Message of Hope and Forgiveness
Julie shares how she went through spiritual healing after a childhood of abuse and gained understanding about forgiveness.

-Rick Belden submitted, Healing Is Not for Wimps
Rick shares how sometimes pain and grief can be agents of growth and healing in our lives.

-Patricia Singleton from Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker submitted, Dialogues With Dignity: Progress Over Perfection
She wrote: "A discussion between four friends about progress over perfection. When you give up perfection, healing can start."


 Advocacy and Awareness:
-Patricia Singleton from Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker submitted, Interview of Nancy Fox-Kilgore, M.S., Sibling Bully Activist
She wrote: "Nancy Kilgore's book, Girl In The Water, is about her own story of being a sibling abuse survivor. Nancy is an advocate for those who have survived sibling bullying."

-Patricia Singleton from Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker submitted, Humanity Founded Upon Abuse of Children
She wrote: "This post and the article that it highlights are not easy reading. Child abuse has been around as long as mankind has been on this earth. Some statistics show that incest is the most prevalent form of child sexual abuse."


Poetry:
-Tammy Taylor from Here We Go submitted, Silent No More

-Kath from KathleenFreeman submitted, Legacy For a Two Year Old/Slouching Beyond Two 2011
She wrote: "You walked away: a poem of hope and recovery."

-Tammy Taylor from Here We Go submitted, Making My Way Back


*********
The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is a monthly event. The purpose is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse and to share important posts with others who may not be frequent readers of an author's blog, and expose one's work to a wider audience. There are so many wonderful bloggers who are contributing to the cause of ending and recovering from child abuse. If you, as a reader or author, know of other blogs that you find helpful, please encourage them to submit to an upcoming issue of the Carnival Against Child Abuse; and please bookmark that page so we can continue to receive high quality submissions from a wide swath of bloggers.

Many thanks to all of you who shared your hearts and stories with us, and to all of you who read the submissions and show your support. You keep this carnival, the awareness, support, and healing going each month.


To provide another way for you to stay in contact with the blog carnival, and make sure you don't miss any updates; you can like the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Facebook Page


If you are interested in hosting an edition of the blog carnival, please send me an email.


Thank you for raising your voice and speaking out against child abuse! 

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Lunch Wars

Reading Lunch Wars by Amy Kalafa made me think about school lunches from my childhood. My elementary school lunches were pretty healthy, but by high school I was eating pizza or candy and chips out of the vending machines every day. My teen lunch experience is exactly the kind of situation the author is hoping to end.

Lunch Wars Cover
Statistics like this speak to a need for change in our children's food:
-Only 2 percent of school-age children eat the USDA's serving recommendations for all five major food groups.
-Half of America's schoolchildren eat less than one serving of fruit a day.
-Nearly 30 percent of American children eat less than one serving a day of vegetables that are not fried.



Lunch Wars is not a fast read, but that is due mostly to the subject and the amount of information Amy Kalafa shares. She wrote this book in response questions people asked after watching her documentary Two Angry Moms.

The subtitle, "How to start a school food revolution and win the battle for our children's health" is completely serious. Lunch Wars  is part book, part instruction manual.The author included samples of letters, surveys, forms, and even lesson plan resources you can use in your quest to reform the food system in your child's school.

I thought it was interesting to read stories from different schools across the country, and see the big and small changes that are being made. I was impressed by all the schools that are growing some of their own food through school and community gardens.

As a mom who homeschools, it definitely made me think about the easy, convenience lunches that we often eat at our house (peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, anyone?) and I felt inspired to make some changes of my own. It would take just as much time for me to put some fruit on yogurt as it does to squeeze chocolate sauce on ice cream.

Do you know what your kids are eating at a school? 
You can join in the conversation and read an excerpt from Lunch Wars, at BlogHer.

*This was a paid review for BlogHer Book Club, but the opinions expressed are my own. I was not required to say nice things. 

Glimpses of Change

Tonight I found an old song that I loved, but it had been rerecorded when the artist formed a new band. It was the same, but different. It had been changed.

Recently, I reached for a book that spoke to my heart. I was looking for the emotional attachment and inspiration experienced the first time I read it. I kept the book on the left side of my book drawer, because I knew I would need it again, but I felt emotionally removed from it this time, at the very moment my heart was longing to make a connection.

It had been a year since I spent time with someone, and when we got together again, I saw the changes. Different. Unexpected. I have a hard time forgiving these changes, much less embracing them, as if I think that person should stay the same for me. And I pull back, a whisper telling me I don't fit in this new world that has been created.

In one day I hear myself declare, "I want this situation to change!" and in that same day I feel this, "I am scared of change. I don't know how to do it." and I sit in the same place, overwhelmed.

Something hit my heart, solidly, like a brick. I vowed to remember, to count that lesson, to record the change. But the next moment I was distracted, and walked away. I forgot something which had, just a second earlier, been so clear.

I reach out for a connection. Something to move my heart. Something to move my mind. Something to give me direction to a change I so desperately want. And I quickly hide from those thoughts.

Again I hear myself declare my desire for change, and I sit, unmoving, my hands tied.

I am listening to this song that I have loved, and I wince at changes I am not open to hearing. And then I laugh, because at the heart of the song, I hear a message about running away and standing still, a message about change.

And for just a second, I see the glimpse of something clearly...and then it changes, and the glimpse is gone.
Pour Your Heart Out



Do you have this change thing figured out? 
Do you embrace change, or hide from it?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Nearly the End of Summer

I'm ready to dump summer for my true love - fall. I know Florida doesn't really have fall, not the way it happens in the north, but I believe in the spirit of fall. I have already had my first pumpkin spice frappuccino of the year (a sure sign that fall is nearly here) and I have been looking longingly at my sweaters and jackets....but it isn't quite time yet. Even though the temperature dropped a couple of degrees last week, summer is still here.

So today, I'm choosing to look at the ending of summer as its own special time. 

I'm thankful for pink flowers
hot pink flowers

and I'm thankful for yellow flowers
yellow flowers

and I'm thankful for cool water on a hot day
feet in a pool

and I'm finding that, in the ending of summer, there is happiness.

What is making you happy today?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Facebook Killed My Newsfeed

We woke up to a whole new facebook this morning. Some of the changes, like pictures showing up larger in the news feed, are nice. Other changes are annoying.

You no longer have the "Most Recent" option to see updates in chronological order in your news feed. Instead, you have "Top Stories", the things facebook considers to be the most interesting.

The other new edition is what I like to call the Stalker-Ticker. It is on your right sidebar, and shows updates of EVERYTHING your friends are doing on facebook - a little scary.

This is my solution:
At the bottom of the left sidebar, click on Lists. This will take you to the a screen with a list of all the lists you have created (including the new lists that facebook added recently). I think that is the most times the word list has been used in one sentence.

Click on Create a List and give it a snazzy name:

Once you name your list, you will see this screen:
Click on Add Friends, or use the pull down menu on the right to manage your list.

Your box of friends will pop up:
Click on ALL of your friends (hopefully they look less pixely than mine) and click the blue Done button.

You will then find yourself viewing the recent updates from everyone in your new list. If you would like to add the pages you have liked, click on the Manage List pull down and choose Add/Remove Friends: 
When the box of friends pops up, use the pull down on the left side of the box, and choose pages. Select all your pages, and click the blue Done button. 

You are almost finished. 
To make it easier to get to your list, go back to the list page and click on the little edit pencil by your new list, and add it to favorites. This will make it appear near the top of your sidebar. You can see that I have several lists that are set to favorites, and they always show up. 

I am bypassing facebook's news feed and using my News Feed List instead. This ensures that I see everything being posted, and that they appear in chronological order, without any of that top story silliness. 

There is one more big bonus. When using a list to view your feed, the new Stalker-Ticker does not show up!!

Of course, you may not want to have every person and every page show up in your feed. That is your choice. You make your lists as large or small as you like. But if you want the option of seeing everything in order the way the old Most Recent setting worked, this is the best way I have found to set it up.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Loosing My Hair At The Movie Store

Tracie- "Do you know what movie you want?"

Thomas- "Something BIG. Something EXPANSIVE. Something EPIC."

EPIC.

My husband is on a continual search for an epic movie.

Our last trip to the movie store was a two hour search.

Tracie- "What about Gone With The Wind? Do you want to get it?"

Thomas-"No. That doesn't have the right feel for today. If I keep looking, I will think of the right movie"

This conversation was repeated with Stalag 17, The Great Escape, Schindler's List, The Color Purple, Ten Commandments, and many more.

Near the end of the trip, I was ready to pull my hair out with frustration....kind of like this:
Pulling My Hair Out
Aaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure at least two of those grey hairs you see, lost their color at the store - possibly three. And please excuse the arm pit stubble. I shaved before leaving the house, but we were at the store so long, it started to grow back in.

After I threatened to leave him at the store, Thomas finally gave up the search and left without a movie. I may or may not have left without any hair on my head.

All recommendations of EPIC, EXPANSIVE, BIG movies are appreciated, because next time Thomas wants to get a movie, he will be going to the store with a list....and without me, or my hair.

*In non-epic-movie related news: I saw a copy of Hey Dude season one, on dvd. Is anyone else as excited about this as I am? Because I seriously loved that show when I was a kid. Although it did make me giggle to read things like, "hip, comedic, touching storylines set against an authentic Southwestern backdrop...." on the back of the box. And yes, I did sing the entire theme song while standing in the movie store. I am a 90's Nickelodeon television dork.
________________________________________________________________

Today, I am very excited to be featured at SITS! SITS is a community of over 10,000 bloggers who understand that the secret to success is support....and lots of comments.

If you are new here, Welcome! I'm so glad to have you, and I promise not to sing any television theme songs to you (unless of course, you like that sort of thing, in which case I will be glad to grab the nearest hairbrush and give you a little concert).

This blog is the place I write about life - the joys, the pains, and everything in between.
You can also find me on facebook and twitter, and subscribe to my RSS here.


Frito-Lay Back To School Snack Pack Giveaway

Now that school is back in session, a big deal every day is getting lunches packed and having snacks ready. Even though we are homeschooling in our family, I find that we are busier and out of the house more than ever. I try to have snacks I can grab on the way out the door.

A tip for lunches and snacks on the go: instead of using plastic baggies for sandwiches and snacks, wrap them in reusable snack wraps that keep your food safe without creating waste.

Reusable Sandwich Wraps

Frito-Lay wants to help you transition to back to school mode. One of my readers will win eco-friendly reusable snack wraps for lunch packs and the new Naturally Delicious Mix multi-pack sack of chips, which includes your favorite Frito-Lay snacks made with all natural ingredients! They’re even throwing in an insulated lunch tote for mom! 
Insulated Lunch Tote

Putting together snacks and lunches takes enough time out of your day, already, so let's make this easy to enter.

Frito-Lay Naturally Delicious Snack PackFrito-Lay has a lot of great recipes on their website. To enter, leave me a comment telling me which yummy recipe you would like to try. 

(I've already picked the one I like, it is more of a dessert than a snack - Bacon Chocolate Cupcakes with Caramel Cracker Jack Popcorn Frosting - now I just need someone to make them for me.)

For an extra entry: tweet this post.

I will choose a winner on September 28th. Good luck! 

Update!! The winner is......Melissa Lea! 

Rules and other legal things: 
-You must be a US resident with a US mailing address to enter.
-Winner will be contacted by email, so you must have your email address enabled in your blogger profile, or visible in your comment!! 
-Winner will have 48 hours to respond.  
-This giveaway is sponsored by Frito-Lay, and I am being compensated for my time. 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway

I can spend hours looking through the Shabby Apple site. They have gorgeous women's dresses and accessories (including maternity dresses), and little girl's dresses that are absolutely adorable.
Shabby Apple Logo

One thing I really love - everything they sell has a fun name.

These boots are named Persnickity, how great is that!?
Dark Brown Boots - Persnickity
They are cute, too. Dark brown, with buttons down the side. 
I need a pair of these. 

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This dress is named Joie de Vivre. Very fancy. 
Navy blue, with a cute tie in the front.
This is going on my wish list.

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You knew I would find a yellow dress, right? We all need more yellow in our lives . 
This mustard-yellow dress is named Study Break, which appeals to my desire to spend the day reading books and drinking coffee. 

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Shabby Apple is offering my readers a 10% off coupon. Use the coupon code "fromtracie10off", if you want these, or any of the other gorgeous dresses they offer. It will expire in 30 days, so shop quickly. 

Now that you have seen some of the things on my wish list, let me show you the dress Shabby Apple is going to give away to one of my readers.....

It is named Mariposa Grove.
Women's Green Dress - Mariposa Grove 1
Mariposa Grove is kelly green (so much better than plain, regular green), 
with a petal-inspired neckline and cap sleeves.

I know this dress would look gorgeous on every one of you.

Women's Green Dress - Mariposa Grove 2
Mandatory entry: 
-Leave a comment telling me your favorite color to wear, and why.

Extra entries (these are not mandatory):
-Like From Tracie on facebook.
-Like Shabby Apple on facebook. (they have special promotions and discounts there!)
-Tweet about this giveaway.
  "I want to win a dress from @shabbyapple and @fromtracie | http://bit.ly/n63VeY | #giveaway"

*Please leave a separate comment for each entry*

I will choose a winner on September 28th. 
Good luck! 

UPDATE!! The winner is...The Random Blogette! 

Rules and other legal things: 
-You must be a US resident with a US mailing address to enter.
-Winner will be contacted by email, so you must have your email address enabled in your blogger profile, or visible in your comment!! 
-Winner will have 48 hours to respond.  
-This giveaway is sponsored by Shabby Apple. 
-This post contains affiliate links - if you follow those links and make a purchase, I will receive an affiliate commission (thank you!).   

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Staying Comfortable While Drinking

You know how great it is to get the pillows smooshed just right under your head? To have the blanket (preferably a polka dot blanket) all sealed around you, so there is no cold air sneaking in? And you are angled just right to see the tv, or read your book?

But then, you realize you are thirsty.

Really thirsty.

You roll your head to the right (maybe you turn yours to the left, but I have a table on the right side of my bed, so I turn right) and see the glass of water sitting there. Full of hydration possibilities.

The water is calling you.

Suddenly, it seems as though you have been walking across a long desert, and you have to have that water! WATER!!

You reach out your hand for the glass, and realize - the smooshed pillows, the blanket, the comfort - if you sit up and drink that water, you will not reach this level of comfortability again for the rest of the night.

Dilemma.

Will you try to drink that water while lying down? If so, you have a 25% chance that you will be successful, and a 74% chance that you will be lying in a puddle of water (which would ruin your comfortablility more than sitting up). There is also the 1% chance water fairies will show up and cause the water to shoot from the glass and dance around before it lands in your mouth without spilling a drop, but I have yet to have that happen (also I think this proves I watch too much Tinkerbell).

What to do?

I say go for it. Live dangerously.

Because that moment where you successfully drink the water while lying down? Perfect.

And the moment, a minute later, when your husband asks for the glass of water and is unsuccessful? Even more perfect.

It is the little things in life that are important.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

I Had Never Heard of the World Trade Center

I was not going to write anything today.

September 11, 2011. 

Words are my thing. I tell stories. I share small details of lives.

But this is not my story.

I feel inadequate to speak on this. I did not loose someone I loved, or even someone I knew.

What is the process for sharing the stories of others? Because it is something I try never to do. 

When people fall into the "where were you" conversation, and every year when we watch the footage on tv, Thomas always tells his story.

I usually stay silent. I'm not sure how my story fits in. It is so little compared to the grief of those who lost so much that day.

This morning I watched as they read the names at the 9/11 Memorial. I wept.


That is how I find myself here, writing my story... 

Ten years ago, I was eighteen. I worked at a small bookstore. Every morning, I slept in until the last possible minute before rushing to work. On September 11th I woke up early to the sound of the phone ringing. My dad was calling to tell me to turn on the Today show - a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center.

I had never heard of the World Trade Center before that moment. As I stared at the screen, trying to wake up, all I could think was, "How many people are in that building?"

I sat holding the phone, not talking, and stared at the smoke pouring out of the building.

I watched as the second plane hit.

A few minutes later, my dad told me I had better go to work or I would be late.

The smoke. The people jumping. The reporters crying.

Work? Was the bookstore going to be open? Who would be out shopping on this day? How was I supposed to walk away from the tv? It didn't make sense.

I drove the few blocks to work. My manager, Mary, had just opened the door when I pulled into the parking lot. I told her about the planes.

In the front of the store we had an old boom box that we used to play cassette tapes. Mary fiddled with the radio buttons, and we were able to get some local station to come in.
We sat on the floor by the radio. The lights in the store were still off, sunlight from the window reflected off of Mary's glasses. The station was letting people call in, and there was a lot of hysterical crying.

Ten minutes later, one of our regular customers came walking in the door, "Hey y'all! Why are all the lights off? What's up? The roads are deserted. It is a strange day." I told her about the planes. She sat on the floor next to us, crying, and listened to the crackly radio.

A pastor came in looking for communion wafers. I told him about the planes. 

The radio station continued to allow call-ins, and it wasn't long before the conspiracy theories were flowing. When they announced that something had happened at the Pentagon, I wasn't even sure it was real.

A piano teacher came in to pick up sheet music she had special ordered. I told her about the planes.

Listening to that radio station was pointless. They were in chaos, and there was more spreading of rumors than reporting of actual news. We turned it off. Not having the crackly crying and commotion filling the room was a relief, but there was also a feeling of being cut off. I wondered if something else was being hit. I wanted to go home and watch the real news.

The owner of the bookstore finally called, and told us to close up the store.

I stopped at a gas station near my apartment, and there was a line. People I knew were sitting on their cars, talking. One of them was going to give blood. One was trying desperately to get through on a cell phone to his mom who lived in DC, I remember hugging him as he cried.

I went home and watched the news. They showed the second plane hit, over and over and over again. I turned it off. I don't remember much about the rest of that day.

The first week planes were allowed to fly again, I took my mom to the airport. It was the first time I dropped someone off for a flight and didn't walk them all the way to the gate, and watch the plane take off. It was the first time I dropped someone off for a flight and felt worried.

In the days, weeks, and months that followed September 11, 2001, there were a lot of firsts. That is what happens when the whole world changes.



Today, at Band Back Together, we are sharing people's stories and memories of September 11th.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Accepting Submissions for the September 2011 Edition Blog Against Child Abuse

The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is a monthly event. Its purpose is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse. All forms of abuse - physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, verbal - are discussed. We highlight blog posts, from child abuse survivor stories, to art and poetry, to child abuse as a topic in the news media, as well as PTSD, disassociation and other areas of abuse "aftermath" that adult survivors are forced to deal with. We also link to hopeful posts about therapy, recovery, and healing from abuse. All forms of child advocacy and awareness are included.

The September edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse will be hosted here, at From Tracie. Our theme is Change.

Change - As we head toward fall (I am SO ready for the weather to cool down!) I start to think about change. This month, I would love to hear from you about change. Share a positive change you have made in your life, or a change that had positive results. Sometimes in life, changing just one thing can make a big difference, and that is true on the healing path as well. Maybe you have experienced a change that is negative...feel free to share that as well, and talk about how you overcame, or what you are doing now to overcome, and let us support you in that.

All of our regular categories will also be open:
-Advocacy and Awareness
-Aftermath
-Healing and Therapy
-In the News
-Poetry
-Survivor Stories
-Art Therapy

The deadline for submissions is September 28th, and the carnival will be posted on the 30th. I'm excited to see what y'all share this month. You can submit something written especially for this edition, but please feel free to submit an older post as well.

If you are interested in hosting an upcoming edition of the carnival, please let me know! 

The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse provides an opportunity to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse and to share important posts with others who might not be frequent readers of an author's blog, and expose one's work to a wider audience. There are so many wonderful bloggers who are contributing to the cause of ending and recovering from child abuse. If you, as a reader or author, know of other blogs that you find helpful, please encourage them to submit to an upcoming issue of the Carnival Against Child Abuse; and please bookmark that page so we can continue to receive high quality submissions from a wide swath of bloggers. 

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Professor Hoppy and the Glasses

This is Professor Hoppy. He specializes in math. 
(also he is wearing a cape - because math professor frogs can be super heroes)
I walked by Katarina's bed last night and found him sitting there, calculating.

This is Katarina. She specializes in drawing and writing
(as Hoppy looks on with approval)

Katarina got these black, plastic frames in a kids meal, and she loves them. Every few days I find some different stuffed animal wearing them. When the animals aren't wearing them, Katarina is - she wears them to write and draw, she wears them to read, and she even wore them to the grocery store. Katarina loves these glasses.

Super hero-math professor frogs and a pair of fake glasses that inspire imagination, giggles, and fun...that is happiness. 

What is making you happy today?

Monday, September 05, 2011

Domestic Violence Isn't Sexy

Two photo shoots. Two bruised women. Both made news last week:

Tyler Shields says this picture of Heather Morris is not about domestic violence, "We wanted to do a bruised up Barbie shot, and that is exactly what we did."
Heather Morris with black eye, by Tyler Shields
I guess the depiction of a bruised women is more tasteful if she is meant to represent a toy?
Heather Morris with black eye, arms bound by iron cord
Source: Tyler Shields
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Sarah Cameron says this ad for Fluid Salon was meant to not only sell haircuts, but also to spark controversy, "We wanted to push limits....We just like art."
Hair Salon ad - woman with black eye sitting on couch, man behind her holding large diamond necklace
Source: Facebook
It looks like an ad for a hair salon to me. The woman sits on the couch with fancy hair and a black eye, and the text is information about the salon, with the tag, "Look good in all you do".  Presumably even after being beaten?

If the point of this ad was to raise awareness or spark conversations about domestic violence - I would expect information about a women's shelter or a hotline number to appear somewhere on the ad. All I see is another glamorization of a bruised woman.

Domestic violence isn't sexy. 
It isn't hot. It isn't a great inspiration for a photo shoot. It is very real and very serious.

-1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime.
-Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women.
-An average of three women and one man are murdered every day in the US by an intimate partner.
(If you are the victim of domestic abuse, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), and know that you are not alone. There is hope.) 

I am disgusted with the continued portrayal of women beaten, bruised, and raped - in ads, media, and photo campaigns.

Rape is not funny, and violence against women (or men!) is not sexy.

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Stream of Consciousness - Swirling Questions

My thoughts are swirling tonight. I suppose that is what I get for avoiding the blinky cursor on my screen for most of the week - too many thoughts have been stuck in my mind with no where to go. Too many questions.

I've spent a lot of time questioning myself.

Questioning my writing - why do I do it? what is it accomplishing? am I wasting my time? do I have a voice? 

Questioning my self-censorship here - I know the answer to part of this one. 
I'm coming out of the political shadows on the blog with two words: 
Ron Paul. 

Questioning some of my firmly held beliefs - and realizing that they might not be as firmly held as I once thought.

Questioning relationships and in some instances, lack of relationships - I wonder how often I hold back, and miss out? I wonder how often I go all in, and loose anyway?

Questioning my choice in music - because I really need some new tunes that speak deeply to my heart.

Questioning my impact - in good and bad ways. 

Lots of questions. Not always a lot of answers. 

I try not to hide from questions - Questions can be a way to re-examine.
Questions can be a catalyst for growth.

If my amount of questions is any indication, I still have a lot of growing to do.

Do you ever find yourself with more questions than answers?