End The Backlog

Earlier this week I participated in a blog carnival for the Joyful Heart Foundation called The World I Want For My Daughter. The purpose was to raise awareness about the rape kit backlog.

To learn more about how you can end the rape kit backlog, 

please watch this video and visit www.endthebacklog.org

Thank you!

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The World I Want For My Daughter

We all have dreams for our children. Things that we want them to have and experience. When my daughter, Katarina, was born I was so excited for her to sit up, say her first word, and start walking. I wanted her to learn to read and see the light of discovery in her eyes.

Now Katarina is seven years old, and I want her world to be filled with laughter, art, books, friendship, imagination, clubhouses, huge dreams, fairies, silly hairstyles, running barefoot through the grass, butterflies, cuddles, hugs, smiles, dancing, learning - the world wide open in every direction just waiting to be explored and conquered. I want her to never know pain, but when pain does come, I want her to grow and learn and work through it with support and love. I want her to be assertive. I want her to stand up for herself if necessary.

I want her to be safe. I take every precaution possible to teach her about safety, to empower her with words to use if someone was to inappropriately touch her. I prepare her for what to do in an emergency. I teach her about life and people and answer her questions honestly. The world is a huge place when you are seven years old and it is my job to help her learn to navigate through it.

As she gets older, I know that things will change. My dreams and goals for her will change, and so will the ones that she has for herself. I mentioned to my husband that I was writing about the world I want for our daughter and he quickly weighed in with his desire - a 30 foot wall with barbed wire on top to keep all bad guys out and keep her safely inside. He was kidding, sort of. Of course that is excessive. 25 feet should be enough, don't you think?

I know that one day she will grow up and we won't be able to be with her every day. We can't really lock her behind a wall, nor would I. I want her to have a life lived fully. I can't keep every bad thing away from her, or fix every problem. I can teach her and love her and send her out into the world trusting that she is smart and capable and prepared. I can pray for her and trust that God has his hand on her life.

To do that I will have to let go. Let her find her own way. As much as possible, I want that path she takes to be filled with love, laughter, dancing, learning, smiling, friendship, huge dreams (some things never change). Marriage. A family. I want her always to be hopeful. Strong. Able to tackle anything that comes her way. Soft. Able to love deeply with a heart full of compassion and grace. Beautiful. Able to love herself without any body image issues. Adventurous. Able to find the fun in every experience and turn even the smallest moments into something special.

There are so many other things that I want for my daughter. I dream a perfect world for her, but unfortunately I can't guarantee that. I hold all these dreams in my heart and they spill out, not just to my daughter, but to all daughters and sons.

Why am I writing about this? “The World I Want For My Children” is an effort to support The Joyful Heart Foundation, which was founded by Law & Order: SVU actress Mariska Hargitay to help victims of sexual assault and domestic violence mend their minds, bodies and spirits and reclaim their lives. Today, the foundation is at the forefront of an effort to end a disheartening backlog of tens of thousands of rape kits in labs across the country, a backlog that contributes to a rapist’s 80 percent chance of getting away with his crime. The backlog and its detrimental effects will be the topic of a powerful SVU episode on Wednesday, September 29th.

As a child I was sexually abused. I didn't speak out until I was an adult, and by then my abuser had already died. I never got the chance to confront him, to make a police statement, to see a prosecution come down, to receive justice of any kind. That fact will always be like a hole in my heart.

Each one of the estimated 200,000 untested rape kits across the country represents a woman, man, or child who was the victim of sexual violence. Victims who did the courageous thing of reporting it. They submitted themselves to a rape kit, only to have it sit, untouched, on a shelf for years and years. Never processed, never tested. Evidence that could give the state what they need to catch and prosecute a rapist, and it isn't even entered into a computer system. It breaks my heart to think of these courageous survivors being passed over by the legal system due to lack of funding.

One day I want a world where crimes of sexual violence no longer happen. Until then, I demand a world where these crimes are taken seriously and every rape kit is tested and entered into evidence with the hopes of catching and convicting rapists. Anything less than that is an unacceptable world for victims, survivors, and all of our daughters and sons.

Please help us raise awareness for this important work. What kind of world do you want for your children? Write your post and link up here.

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A Happy Ending And Other Stories

Fragment O'First - Things Katarina Says 
~Katarina, "Mom, you need to come over here and see this surprise I have for you."

Tracie, "Is it a project surprise, or a picture surprise, or some other kind of surprise?"

Katarina, "If I tell you what it is, it would not be a surprise. Just a prise. Don't loose the 'sur', come see it for yourself."

Fragment O'Second - Birthiversary

~I'm part of a group on facebook called We Support Mackenzie Phillips & All Survivors Speaking Out Against Abuse. Today marks one year since this group was created. It's a birthday. It's an anniversary. It's a Birthiversary. It started as a way to show support for Mackenzie Phillips when she spoke out about abuse and turned into a real community of survivors. 

When my friend Meggs wrote about the birthiversary on her blog, she talked about what she has learned over the last year. This one really hit my heart, "Blood may be thicker than water, but it's not thicker than the tears you've shed with your fellow survivors. I can choose my family."

Fragments O'Third - Kathy Bates
~I watched the season seven premier of The Office last night. Did you? I was happy to see Kathy Bates was still there. I just love her. I was not sure about them having a famous actor come into the cast last year, but when it turned out to be Kathy I was excited.

I would watch Kathy Bates even if she-

• put a tinfoil hat on her head
• walked out in her front yard 
• did an alien summoning dance
• filmed it 
• called it a documentary 
• and then renamed herself "Schmeel-shoriffish"

That is how much I love her.

Fragments O'Forth - My Sad Story Gets A Happy Ending
~Last week I told you my sad story about pencils. Just because my name is spelled different, when teachers would buy personalized pencils for every kid in the class, I would get a blank one. No name. Very sad.

There was one year that I didn't mention. Fourth Grade I got a pencil with my name, spelled Tracy. My mom tried to console me by saying, "At least she tried. It is close to your name." I should have spelled words wrong on a spelling test (actually, I did do that all the time) and then challenge my grade by telling the teacher and my mom, "At least I tried. It was close".

But all those blank pencil memories have changed as of today.

Today they have a happy ending.

My fabulous friend Diana told me that there was a package coming for me. It arrived this afternoon and what was in it?

Every single one of those pencils has my full name on it! 

Spelled correctly!

She also sent a pack of pencils with Katarina's name.

My inner child and my outward adult are now very happy.
Thank You Diana!!

Fragment O'Fifth - Sweater-y Shirt
~When I went to the office to pick up my mail, I was wearing that sweater-y shirt. It is strange. Short sleeves, yet still kind of a sweater. The guy asked me if I thought it was winter outside. I told him that I am singlehandedly bringing in fall with my cold weather clothes and high expectations. He didn't seem impressed.

More Friday Fragments can be found at Mrs.4444's place, Half-Past Kissin' Time.

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Smiles and Laughter

This week the Raw(e) Photo Challenge is Smiles and Laughter. 

I have shared these two pictures in the past, but they are the first ones I thought of when I saw the assignment.

Katarina's smile makes me smile everyday.

(The missing teeth are the best part!)

This is laughter, and it is contagious. 

(Especially before a movie starts when we should be quieting down!)

More unedited pictures full of smiles and laughter can be found at 

Sailor & Company.

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I Have Been Cheating On You

Yes, I'm talking to you dear reader. I cheated on you this week. 

I cheated with... 

the outside. 

Sometimes it is necessary to pull myself away from the comforting blue glow of the computer screen and visit the outside....where there is grass and trees, and this thing called the sun. I know. I was shocked too. This sun thing comes out every day and gives light. Crazy.

Katarina and I have gone to work with Thomas a couple of times this week. Going to work with him means that Katarina gets to drag tree limbs around and I get to sit outside and read a book or take pictures. On Monday it was these Lemon Eucalyptus trees that caught my eye and pulled me out of my book. They are fabulous. The bark is strangely smooth. The homeschool mom in me also feels compelled to tell you that they come from Australia and the leaves do indeed smell lemony in the very best way. I"m sure you were wondering.

I cheated on you with Tinkerbell.

Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue came out on dvd yesterday. I might have forgotten that it was coming out, except for the fact that Katarina had it marked on the calendar and has been doing the daily countdown for three weeks.

I'll admit it right now. I loved it! Every single fairy-filled second of this movie made me smile. Last year when Tinkerbell and The Lost Treasure came out, I was disappointed that there wasn't enough time with the other fairies, but this one had a good mix of Tinkerbell, fairy friends, and adventure. Sometimes a fun cartoon is just what I need to brighten up my day.

*Disclaimer-I was not payed by Disney to talk about Tinkerbell. I do that out of a place of love. If they would like to send some kitchen fairies over from Pixie Hollow to make dinner, I wouldn't send them away. Also if some fairies want to teach me how to fly to London, I would be okay with that too. Email me fairies, let's set something up.*

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