Book Lovers Secret Recognition Club

When we are at the store or sitting in a restaurant, men will often walk by my husband and give him a knowing look. They will shake their heads and mumble numbers, or smile broadly and say, "Did you catch it Saturday?" often followed by a, "Roll Tide!"

It is as if all the sports lovers are in a secret recognition club.
They don't need introductions. They pick up in the middle of a conversation immediately, a conversation celebrating or lamenting their team's standing (this year it has been celebrating at my house). They pat each other on the back, or give a light punch in the arm.

It isn't just the Alabama fans. When he is near a fellow sports lover, Thomas will comment or ask a question about other teams he likes, or trash talk teams he doesn't like (read that: University of Florida).

The sports lovers can usually be identified by hats, shirts, or bumper stickers. Thomas isn't often without at least one of these identifying articles.

But, and this is when it gets weird, sometimes there will be no outward identifying label, and they still find each other. They must give off some aura visible only to other sports lovers. Not being a member of their secret recognition club, I can't really explain it to you. But I do know that it happens.

I am a book lover. It is sort of like a secret club, but we aren't very good at the social side of it. Unlike sports lovers, us book lovers often want to be left alone with our books.

So, although I will always sneak a look at someone's book on the bus or in a waiting room, I don't often interrupt the reader to discuss the book or give them a light punch in the arm. Really, it is best to never punch someone you don't know in the arm, light or otherwise.

The most social I usually get is offering a companionable smile when my book is noticed by the fellow reader.

Readers and book lovers need shirts, hats, and bumper stickers. Identifying articles that can enable us to be readily recognized as members of the book lovers club.

Something other than the book we are probably carrying in a bag or pocket.

Just once, I want to wear a Charlotte Brontë shirt, and have someone come up to me in a store and yell, "Jane Eyre!"

I want to see someone in an L. M. Montgomery hat, and strike up a conversation about Green Gables.

So many authors belong on shirts. Brennan Manning. Jan Karon. Linda Fairstein. Francine Rivers. Maya Angelou. J. K. Rowling. Anne Lamott. Jane Austen. I could keep adding names to this list all day.

What author or books would you want on a shirt or hat to identify yourself as part of the Book Lovers Secret Recognition Club?

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This idea has been floating around in my mind for a while, and I was reminded of it the other day when Amy Sullivan wrote about the shirts at Out of Print, which are awesome. I'm pretty sure I need all of them. 

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Candy Corn

Not just any witch - A Candy Corn Witch!

We spent last weekend partying it up Halloween-style with Lee.
Those shoes actually lasted for several hours before she switched to flats.

This week's plans include watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, and picking up some half-priced candy on November 1st.

Will you be dressing up this year? 

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Inspiring Creativity - Bob Ross' Birthday

Today would have been Bob Ross' 70th birthday. I grew up watching The Joy of Painting with my mom on Saturday mornings, and Katarina grew up watching it with me and Thomas. It is the best feel-good show, and so very calming.

In honor of this day, I'm going to share a Katarina story I blogged about in 2006, when she was three years old. (Yes, I blogged way back in 2006 - I believe it is more commonly referred to as the dark ages now.)

Bob Ross And The Rabbits
I have already confessed my love of PBS, and I feel that I can say this without shame. Monday is "Bob Ross Day" at my house. All three of us love it. Especially Katarina. She always asks if he is going to show pictures of his squirrel, whom she immediately names Poncho or Lefty after the baby squirrels we raised last year until they were old enough to live on their own. (Typing that made me feel very Bob Ross-like).

We watched Bob today. The painting was "Snow Birch."

He shared a short video of a baby owl he was raising, and Katarina thought the owl was great.

Then he did what he always does while painting - he imagined the world he was making. It started with the birch trees. He explained that one of them was growing kind of sideways, because when it was a baby, a bear knocked it over.

Katarina immediately said, "Is the bear going to be white? Where is the bear?"

I told her he wasn't actually going to paint the bear; she just had to imagine it. I reminded her how cool the owl was, and she was satisfied.

A few minutes later he was painting the snow and said, "Right here is where some little baby rabbits live in a little hole, and they peek their heads out and look at the world."

Katarina said, "What color are the rabbits going to be mommy? I think they will be brown and white. What do you think?" A few minutes later, "Mommy, where are the rabbits?"

I told her that he wasn't actually going to paint any rabbits.

"But mommy," she said, "There are rabbits there. I think there are two rabbits. One, Two. Two rabbits. And I think they are actually brown. Don't you think they should be brown? I think he is going to paint them now.....now he is going to paint the rabbits....."

[Bob says good-bye and the credits start]

"Is it over? It can't be over!"

After the credits finished rolling, I asked her how she liked the picture. She said, "The trees were pretty. I liked the bear, but I liked the rabbits best. They were cute, even if he didn't paint them."

I guess just watching other people paint can inspire creativity.

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Have you seen this Bob Ross Remixed video? It makes me smile.

Bob Ross Remixed | Happy Little Clouds Video Link

Here's to Bob Ross. Thank you for inspiring creativity in my family, and for sharing your art and your wisdom with us. You introduced us to happy trees and happy clouds, and reminded us that everyone needs a friend. You taught us that there are no mistakes, just happy accidents - and that is a beautiful thing.

Well, the little clock on the wall says we’re just about out of time. 
I'd like to wish you happy painting, and God bless, my friend.

Do you watch Bob Ross?

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Kids and Mobile Phone Safety

Last week I attended a virtual Mobile Safety School with AT&T and The Motherhood. There was a lot of great information shared, and I'm going to pass some of it on to you.

AT&T conducted a study of 1,000 parents and 500 kids ages 8-17. You can see in the graph below that kids view phones differently based on their ages, and as they get older, the issues with kids having and using a cell phone change.

What is the average age for kids to get a cell phone?
I found it interesting that 31% of kids age 8-11 have cell phones. I assumed this number would be higher, because it really does seem like every kid I see has a cell phone - and certainly every kid on tv is using one. But this isn't actually the case in the real world.

The average age for a kid to get a cell phone is 12.1
The average age for a kid to get a smart phone is 13.8

As the moms chatted during the virtual safety school, I noticed that most parents whose kids were in the 8-11 range and had cell phones were heavily involved in sports or after school activities. They viewed the phones as a way for their kids to be able to get in touch with them when they needed to be picked up, or to be able to let their parents know they arrived at a function safely.

When deciding if it is time to get your kid a cell phone, some of the important questions to consider are why do they need/want the phone, what is their level of responsibility, and is it something your family can afford.

The most important thing: No matter what age you decide to get a cell phone for your kid, talk about safety, set rules, and be consistent.

The study found that 66% of kids said they have rules on their phone usage. Yet 90% of kids said it is okay for their parents to set rules on phone usage.

Kids expect rules. Kids want rules. Even when they act like they don't; even when they indicate that their friends can do whatever they want and how unfair you are; even when they roll their eyes and talk about having the strictest parents in the world - kids want rules. Rules provide structure and security. It is 100% the job of parents to set rules for their kids, and to educate them about safety.

2 out of 5 kids with a mobile phone say their parents have not talked to them about staying safe when using the mobile phone.

The majority of parents aren't discussing phone safety with their kids, but they are worried about safety issues:

• 89% are worried about texting and driving.
• 67% are concerned about bullying text messages.
• 69% are concerned about sexually suggestive messages.
• 77% are worried about their kids receiving calls from unknown numbers.

These worries are not unfounded. Within the kids surveyed:

• 53% of kids have been in a motor vehicle with someone who was texting and driving.
• Over 1 in 5 have received a mean or bullying text message from another kid on their mobile phone.
• Almost half (46%) have a friend who has received a message or picture that their parents would not have liked because it was too sexual.
• 69% have answered a call from an unknown number.

My favorite tip from the mobile safety school: All phones are charged in the parent's bedroom at night. This is a great family rule for kids of varying ages, because it keeps them from staying up late texting their friends when they should be studying or sleeping.

As with all things parenting, one of the best ways to teach our kids is by modeling good behavior. If you don't want your kid to text during dinner, then make sure you are putting your phone away before sitting down at the table.

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AT&T has a variety of resources to help parents learn about safety issues, and start conversations with their kids. You can access these resources at the mobile safety section of the AT&T website.

On November 9th, you can join in on an AT&T Mobile Safety Twitter Party at 2p ET. It will be a great chance to ask questions, share your stories, and possibly win a prize (they are giving away two Samsung Galaxy Tab™ 8.9 devices and three $50 Target gift cards during the party).

Do your kids have their own mobile phones? If so, have you set rules for phone usage, and talked to them about safety issues?

*Legal Stuff: I was provided a spot in a virtual Mobile Safety School session by AT&T and the Motherhood. In working with AT&T to discuss these issues, I was compensated for my time and expertise. All opinions are my own, and I was not required to say nice things.

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Speak Your Truth

On Saturdays, I like to share one great thing I read during the week.
Today, this is that thing:

This is a great blog post from Erin Weed about sharing your truth. And even though she approaches it from a public speaking viewpoint, I think it is very applicable to writing and blogging as well.

What is your truth?

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The Third Party Presidential Debate and Political Choice

Did you know there was a presidential debate yesterday? It didn't make it onto all the major news networks, but Thomas and I found it on C-SPAN last night.

It was held in Chicago, and moderated by Christina Tobin, founder and chair of the Free and Equal Elections Foundation, and Larry King.

The 2012 Third Party Presidential Debate participants included Libertarian Party candidate Gary Johnson, Green Party candidate Jill Stein, Constitution Party candidate Virgil Goode, and Justice Party candidate Rocky Anderson.

It wasn't the most polished debate I have seen - there was no fancy lighting or staging, and the opening statements did not happen until after the first question. But polish is not as important as substance. It was a great opportunity to see four presidential candidates, who have been largely ignored by the media, share their stance on some important issues.

Topics I was happy to see discussed, or at least mentioned:

• The Patriot Act
• National Defense Authorization Act For Fiscal Year 2012 (NDAA)
  - specifically section 1021
• Super PACs
  - 2010 Citizens United ruling and corporate money in politics
• Civil Liberties
• Climate Change
• The "War on Drugs"
• Higher Education
  - cost and access
• The Military
  - The Role of the Military Abroad
  - War
  - Military Drones
  - Military Spending
• Balancing the Budget 
• Term Limits
• The Federal Reserve

Even if you have never considered voting for a third party candidate, I encourage you to watch the debate.
Link to 2012 Third Party Presidential Debate
A Few Notable Debate Quotes:
"What we have seen through the Bush years, and now Obama, has been absolutely subversive and anti-American. There's been no more anti-American act in our history than the NDAA. And in 2009, President Obama asked for the power to indefinitely detain people without charges, without trial, without legal assistance and without the right of habeas corpus. We are on the road to totalitarianism and that's not an exaggeration." - Rocky Anderson

"If we don't adopt term limits, you will always have a Congress that is always worried about the next election instead of what's best for the country," - Virgil Goode

"My concern is that even with term limits, unfortunately corporations and big money can still buy what they want, and are still buying our candidates...I want to pass the amendment that will clarify that money is not speech and corporations are not people." - Jill Stein

"Wasting your vote is voting for somebody you don't believe in. That's wasting your vote." - Gary Johnson

That last quote from Gary Johnson sums up why I think it is important to vote your conscience. When I experienced political exhaustion and took a break from following politics in August, I was frustrated. The break was a good thing, but the frustration came back as I returned to my regular political involvement a few weeks later, and only increased as I watched each presidential debate.

Watching these third party candidates last night reinvigorated me. It was wonderful to see them talk about subjects that have been largely ignored (NDAA, anyone?) by the media and the two main presidential candidates.

I was also happy to see a female candidate being given the same amount of time to speak and the same questions as the male candidates. And unlike a recent New York Senate debate, she was not asked sexist questions like, "Have you read 50 Shades of Grey?" (This is a true story. I'm not messing with you - sexism is still alive.)

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If you are happy with one of the two main presidential choices, I encourage you to vote for that candidate. If you are unhappy with the two main presidential choices, and you feel that neither one represents you, but you refuse to vote for a third party candidate who stands for the things that are important to you, you are a part of the problem. If you don't vote for someone because they can't win, then you never allow that person a chance to win.

The important thing is to vote for the candidate who best represents you, and the candidate you would like to see as president.

If you aren't sure where these third party candidates stand, please watch the debate video linked above. You can also check out iSideWith.com, and take the quiz to see which of the six candidates you most line up with on the issues that are important to you.

You get one vote.
Please don't waste it on a candidate you don't really believe in.

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The Turtle and The Green Collection

There was an old, metal turtle near the swings.

Not the swings that were too tall. When I sat on those tall swings, my feet wouldn't quite touch the ground, and that made for bad swinging. It was by the shorter swings that sat in front of the chain link fence.

One summer Sarah and I spent hours on those shorter swings; trying to swing so high, we would circle the top bar. Sarah's brother swore he did it once, but I didn't really believe him.

I think I liked a goal I knew was unreachable - it meant neither Sarah nor I would win or lose. We would reach the same height, until the chains in our hands grew slack and we fell back, feeling the laughter infused wind rushing through our hair.

But this was a new year, and the swings were old news.

This was the year of the turtle.

He was mostly yellow, with dented-in spots of red and green where water would pool after a rain. The metal was warm, but not hot, thanks to the shade of a very large oak tree standing guard over him.

We wanted to start a club. It would be about writing letters, and making stationary. We would sell the stationary, and one day have enough money to move out of our parent's houses. Whatever we didn't sell would be used for letters of our own. This seemed like a solid business plan in our third grade minds.

Markers and paper were snuck out to the playground.

We sat on the turtle and worked, heads bent over notebooks, shadows dancing over our paper from the leaves on the guard tree. We used those leaves and shadows for inspiration, tracing and making rubbings of the leaves for our stationary, and placing it in a pile we called the green collection.

I tried to create a turtle collection one day, but my drawings of turtles looked like lumpy rocks. The idea was quickly abandoned.

I'm not sure that we sold a single sheet. Not even to our parents - who, in their defense, might not have felt very flattered that we were planning to use the profits to move away from them as soon as possible.

When it turned to winter, the turtle became too cold for sitting, and we abandoned our project. Hiding on a limb of the guard tree, snuggled deep into our jackets for warmth, we made a new plan. It involved making beads, and sewing sequins onto denim jackets. This time the move from our parent's houses would lead us to New York, former home of Stacey McGill of Baby-Sitters Club fame.

Whispers of our plans carried on the wind to the turtle below us. Sitting under the guard tree lonely and cold, he waited for spring to come, so his friends would return.

Did you start a club in your school years? 
If so, I want to know what it was all about, and if it was successful!

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The Trouble With Binders

Katarina and I watched The Trouble With Angels today.

It is a great 60s flick about a Catholic girls boarding school. Rosalind Russell plays the Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills is a trouble-making student.

Each of Haley Mills' escapades start with the pronouncement, "I have a scathingly brilliant idea!"


At one point in the movie, the Mother Superior stops by dance class (the dance teacher is played by Gypsy Rose Lee, which brings up a whole different conversation), and realizes that the girls are lacking certain undergarments.

Brassieres. (Not bras. It is 1966 after all.)

Mother Superior tasks a particularly nervous and timid nun to take the girls to a lingerie shop, so they can buy said brassieres.

Nearly in tears, she says, "But Reverend Mother, I don't know anything about...binders!"

And that is all I have to say about women and binders.

Do you have a favorite old or classic movie? 
We have been talking about this today on facebook - discussing how old a movie should be to consider it old. And if the age of a movie has anything to do with it being a classic. I loved this definition from Denise, "A classic doesn't have to be old. It just needs to be timeless and enjoyable, or relevant for more than one generation."

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Important Television Advice

This important piece of advice is brought to you by my tears.

So many tears.

And my empty tissue boxes.

When your family goes to bed early, it is dangerous to stay up all night catching up on three weeks worth of missed tv shows online.

Watching consecutive episodes of Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, and Parenthood could cause *extreme dehydration due to loss of tears.

If you insist on catching up on tv watching, stick with Bones, Grimm, and Once Upon A Time.

Or at least save The Office and New Girl for the end of the night, so your eyes won't be quite as puffy in the morning.

It is possible I watch too many tv shows.

What are you watching this season?

*This is not medical advice and should not be taken as such. I didn't even stay at a Holiday Inn last night, WebMD scares me, and I was too busy crying my way through television shows to attend medical school. 

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Have A Sandwich With Emeril

When you don't cook (I see you out there, looking at me and giggling), sandwiches are a beautiful thing. Sandwiches can be as simple or as complicated as you desire. They are great for any meal.

I usually go for the Peanut Butter level of complicated. If I'm in a real ambitious mood, I might go for Peanut Butter and Banana. (I see you laughing harder now. Just remember that bananas have to be cut with a knife, and just how dangerous that can be...for someone like me.)

If I'm looking for something a little bit more substantial, I like a nice turkey on rye bread, with provolone, avocados, bacon, a little lettuce, and ranch dressing.

Some people are fabulous chefs, and they still enjoy a good sandwich.

Emeril Lagasse is one of those sandwich-loving people, and he has a new cookbook, Kicked-Up Sandwiches: Stacked With Flavor, with more than 100 yummy sandwich recipes. He has some fancy sandwiches in there, but I was pleased to see peanut butter make at least one appearance, and there are also a few dessert sandwiches (that is something I would brave a knife to make).

Am I making you hungry with all the mentions of sandwiches?

If you are in the Orlando area, and would like to spend some time hanging out with Emeril Lagasse, you can see him prepare some of his favorite sandwiches at Macy's Millenia Mall on Thursday, October 25 at 4pm (3rd floor, Home Department). He will also be signing cookbooks purchased at the event. Space is limited, so please RSVP with Macy's to reserve your spot.

What is your favorite sandwich?

Legal Stuff: I am a member of the Everywhere Society, and I was provided with compensation for this post. All opinions are my own, and I was not required to say nice things about Macy's, Emeril, or sandwiches.

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Mobile Safety and a $50 Visa Giveaway

When I was a kid, we didn't have cell phones (we also walked 12 miles, in the snow, uphill both ways, to get to school). I remember a couple of kids in my high school that had cell phones, but they were strictly for emergencies and never got turned on, because their parents would have freaked out if they used up those precious daytime minutes. Texting wasn't even a reality, and neither was using a cell phone to go online.

Katarina is nine, and she doesn't have a cell phone. In fact, her parents don't even have smart phones (I know, we are pretty much the last people in the country to make that switch). But Katarina is well aware of smart phones. Every kid in every tv show is texting up a storm, and she has noticed.

We are not ready to make that leap right now. But one day, it is going to happen, and I like being prepared for things before they happen. I also know that the dangers of cell phones aren't about using too many daytime minutes anymore. The issues that kids face today when it comes to mobile phones are things like: bullying, privacy, over-usage, and texting while driving. 

AT&T has made a commitment to be a leader in providing education, resources and tools to help families better manage mobile safety.

If you are interested in learning more, AT&T is offering the opportunity to one of my readers to attend a virtual Mobile Safety School session – along with a $50 VISA gift card.

The virtual Mobile Safety School schedule is as follows:
Oct. 23 at 1p ET – mobile safety for kids 8-11
Oct. 24 at 1p ET – mobile safety for kids 12-14
Oct. 25 at 1p ET – mobile safety for kids 15-17

To enter this giveaway:
- Leave me a comment telling me which session you would like to attend.
- For an extra entry, tweet about this giveaway, and leave a comment with the link to your tweet.

I will choose a winner at midnight on Saturday, Oct. 20, 2012.
This giveaway is officially closed. jenspurg is the winner. 

The giveaway is open to US residents only, 18 years old or older. The winner will be chosen at random, and the winner will be notified by e-mail. Make sure to leave your e-mail, or have your contact available on your blogger profile.

*Legal Stuff: I was provided a spot in a virtual Mobile Saftey School session by AT&T and the Motherhood. I was also compensated for my time. All opinions are my own, and I was not required to say nice things.

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10 Things We Learned From 10 Years Of Marriage

In honor of our third (and final) 10th anniversary, Thomas and I are sharing ten things we have learned in our ten years of marriage.

Tracie Says:

1. I have learned that healthy people pass gas thirteen times a day.
2. I have learned which one is Beavis and which one is Butt-head.
3. I have learned if you tell your in-laws you don't eat collard greens, they will ask you where you are from every time they see you, even though you explain each time that you spent most of your life in the south. 
4. I have learned how to use a pole saw.
5. I have learned that man never landed on the moon, and airplanes are too heavy to stay up in the sky. 
6. I have learned if Michael Scott says something disastrously funny, my husband will repeat it at a restaurant.
   (example: this wine has an oaky afterbirth)
7. I have learned that putting baby powder on before going to bed will make you sleep more comfortable and feel cooler. 
8. I have learned that Thrall is the greatest Orc chieftain who ever lived. 
9. I have learned that lime water is far superior to all other drinks. 
10. I learned it is possible to talk about the hard things in life when you have someone who loves you unconditionally. I love you Thomas. 
11. ...and did I leave out?...Husbands create great blogging material. 

Thomas says:

1. The first rule I ever learned was the Leigh Anne rule: Tracie is always right. And even if I'm right, I'm wrong, unless Tracie says I'm right. If Tracie says it is okay for me to right, then I can be right, but not as right as she is.
2. I have learned I can't go walking around in public dressed like I don't have a wife. 
3. I have learned how to treat books - pick them up carefully, sniff, hug, pet, set them down gently, and even read them occasionally.
4. I have learned that Jane Austen is dead.
5. I have learned that it takes two people to download something on our computer. And one of them can not be Katarina.
6. I have learned that it is okay to sing at the top of your lungs in church. (and around the house - while frolicking, skipping, and doing an interpretive dance)
7. I have learned to be discreet.
8. I have learned that a Kotex is not a tampon, but a brand name, and a tampon is not a pad, and not all pads are the same (and neither are all bras), and so on and so on, blah, blah, blah. 
9. I have learned never try to teach Tracie to drive a stick shift unless you are somebody else. Anybody else.
10. I learned that I would not want to live one day in this world without my wife. I love you Tracie.
11. ....and did I leave out?..... Lacrosse is the original American sport. 

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The Day Of The Girl

It was International Day of the Girl on October 11th. I didn't write anything about it here. I thought about it. I had half-composed blog posts in my mind full of facts and statistics and calls to action that were just waiting to be typed.


But I was busy that day with my own girl...

Sitting together, heads close, reading a science book.

Reciting times tables.

Laying side by side on the bed, legs entwined in the air, matching socks touching, as we wrote morning pages.

Reading news articles together, and praying for Malala Yousafzai.

Watching Katarina take this quiz, and talking to her about child marriage.

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That is what I did on International Day of the Girl...

Because the hard realities in life are still reality.

Because teaching our children about injustice is the first step in preparing them to go out and do something about it one day.

Because my daughter is 9 years old.

Because I can't look at this picture without crying.

Image Credit: CARE Facebook Page

Because 25,000 girls become child brides every single day.

Because one in nine girls, or 15 MILLION, has been forced into marriage between the ages of 10 and 14.

Because if things don't change, 100 million girls will marry as children in the next decade.

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Did you talk about International Day of the Girl with your kids?

For more information about child marriage, and how education is the key to freedom, visit CARE's International Day of the Girl page...because ending child marriage and advocating education for girls is something that needs to happy every day. 

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The Time I Was Jealous Of My Kid

Lee emailed me and said, "I need to borrow Katarina, because she is tall."

I restrained myself from telling her to buy a step stool if she is having problems reaching things on high shelves, and asked her why she was looking for a tall kid.

She was going to the Richard Petty Driving Experience Junior Ride-Alongs, and her kids were too short to ride in the cars. She asked if Katarina would be interested in doing three laps around the track in a race car, and the answer was a huge "Yes!"

That is how we ended up at the Disney World Speedway on a Friday morning, so Katarina could ride in a NASCAR race car.

When we arrived the track was still a little damp from a midnight rainstorm and morning dew, and they took us for a ride around it in a van while it dried. We only reached speeds of about 35MPH, so it wasn't exactly a thrill ride; but it was neat to get a feel for the tri-oval and the steepness (which I learned is called "banking"), and hear a bit about the history of the track.

This is the closest we came to meeting Richard Petty.

We took a tour of the garage, and learned about the specially designed seats and head/neck restraints for kids who are at least 48" tall to ride safely in the race cars.

I tried to look short (not hard, I am actually pretty short) and young. But I didn't convince anyone I was a 13 year old, so I wasn't able to sneak in a ride.

Once the track dried, it was time for the real excitement. First Katarina had to put on a racing suit (how cute is that?), and get fitted for a helmet.

She had a little help climbing in through the window.

This is the look of excitement, and possibly a little nervousness, as she is about to go 120MPH (just a little bit faster than our van ride of awesomeness). Her driver was really nice.

She started out nervous, but quickly fell in love, and wanted to go full speed.

Katarina's car speeding by us on the track. Whoosh!

This fancy video of her ride is pretty awesome. (Those cars are loud!)
Katarina's Junior Ride-Along Video Link
Katarina has watched it about 100 times to relive the fun. I think we might have started something with this ride. I'm glad we have a few years before we need to worry about her getting a driver's license.

It was a very cool experience. (Have I mentioned that I was a little jealous?) I'm thinking Lee and I will have to go back to the track someday, so we can go on our own race car rides.

Have you ever ridden in a race car?

Lee got some great video, including an interview with Bill Scott, the Executive Vice President of the Richard Petty Driving Experience, that you can check out on her blog. She even tells you what she thought was the scariest part of the raceway.

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Blogging Boundaries - What Will You Share?

There is one important question you need to ask yourself when you first start blogging. What am I willing to share? If you don't set your boundaries firmly in place from the beginning, you are likely to find yourself having crossed a line you didn't define and regretting it.

You are thinking about sharing something online:

Do you want to share a picture of your family? Awesome. Family is a great thing. Before you hit publish, are you comfortable with that picture? Really comfortable?

All the blogging rules say pictures are important, and people want to see the faces behind the blog, but if you don't feel completely comfortable putting pictures of your kids (or your spouse, or you) on your blog, don't do it. Once you put that picture out there, it is out there forever.

*If you have a picture that involves your kid's poo or vomit - or your poo or vomit - that is called oversharing. Move away from the publish button and delete that picture immediately. Please.

Do you want to write about your children? Awesome. I like stories about your kid (sometimes).

Is it a funny story? Great. Is it funny because your kid did something embarrassing, or something embarrassing happened? Maybe not so great.

I know how tempting it can be write that really funny story. You just know people are going to laugh, and comment, and share, and by the end of the day you will be a world-famous humorist.

But it probably won't happen like that.

The things you write online last forever, so you need to know before you sit at the keyboard if writing that story (that could hurt your kid's feelings when they read it one day) is really worth it for a few laughs and pageviews.

Do you want to write about your childhood? Awesome. Do you have a nice memory about a trip to the beach when your family was having a group hug, and the sun set at just the right time, and then a dolphin went swimming past, and you saw a shooting star? Or you want to share your grandmother's special cookie recipe? Go ahead and publish that now.

Warm and fuzzy memories are always nice, and you have no reason to fear sharing them.

Do you want to talk about dark things in your childhood? Hard things? Write it. Write hard. Then let that post sit in drafts. Think about it, maybe even for a couple of days, or a week (or even longer) - are you ready for the fallout? Are you ready to answer questions, get emails, and possibly have uncomfortable conversations with family members or friends? If you are ready, hit publish (and send me the link so I can support you).

I firmly believe that writing about hard things is healing, sharing those words is even more healing, and touching other people with those words is powerful. Being a little scared, or very scared, to put your words out there is okay. But if you are not ready to deal with what comes with having people read them; don't hit publish.

Please hear my heart on this, if you don't hit publish, you are not a coward! Your blog might not be the place for that story, or this might not be the time to tell it. That is okay. When you are ready to share, you will. Don't pressure yourself to share hard things before the time is right.

Sharing is awesome.

And it is much more awesome with boundaries in place. You need to be able to hit publish with confidence, knowing you are completely okay sharing that post, picture, or story.

I know my boundaries. Over my years of writing, some of the boundaries have moved. It is okay to make a new decision about what you will or will not share.

I share pictures of my family. I use my real name (but I didn't in the beginning). I might share embarrassing stories about myself, but when I share a funny story about someone I love, it is never embarrassing. I write about my childhood, the good and the bad (and I change names where appropriate). Although lives intersect, I do my best to not tell other people's stories. I write about my healing journey, the hard days and the victories. I do not share personal details about my marriage.

The balance is not hard at all, if you have your boundaries in place before you sit down to write. If you already know what you are not going to write about, it makes it easier to find something you will write. And for all those other words, you can buy a journal.

What are your blogging boundaries?

This post has been wandering around my mind for a while, but I was inspired to finally write it after reading Strive For The Happy at Sellabit Mum, a really great post about what and how she is going to share online.

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Cozy Reading With Semi-Matching Socks

Yesterday for Stream of Consciousness Sunday, Jana asked, "What makes you feel cozy?" and I have an answer.

A cozy Monday morning needs fun socks, hot chocolate, and a good book.

There is nothing better than cuddling with Katarina while reading. It is the best part of my day. (yes, that is a Mitford book)

What makes you feel cozy?

Linked with Dose of Happy and 52 Weeks of Happiness.

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Half A Thanksgiving

My Canadian half is feeling thankful today, because it is Canadian Thanksgiving.

So I thought I would give you a list of half the things I'm thankful for today.

(not the same as things I'm only half thankful for)

A half-list of thankfulness:
 1. Cool, night air.
 3. A kid who says persnickety.
 5. Cinnamon rolls.
 7. Books.
     Boxes of books.
 9. Giggly video chats.
11. Love.
13. Leaves that change colors,
     and friends who send them to my inbox when I can't see them in person.
15. Hope.
17. Mexican food.
19. Family.

Canadian or not, what are you thankful for today? 

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Kickstart Ingenious

My friend Lee likes Jeremy Renner. That isn't a strong enough word. Lee loves Jeremy Renner. She loves him. He is Hawkeye, and really what more explanation do you need? Exactly.

So now that we have established that, you won't be surprised that she found this Kickstarter from Arriba Films to get the Jeremy Renner movie Ingenious into theaters.

Ingenious Kicksterter Video Link
I like Kickstarter. It gives people a chance to solicit donations for creative projects. The catch is that they have to meet their pledge goal by the specific date, or they don't get any of the money. It is an all or nothing kind of proposal.

People who invest or back a project on Kickstarter usually get something cool based on the level they invest. For backing Ingenious you could get a digital download of the movie and a featurette for donating $10, a DVD for donating $30. The different levels go all the way up to $400 or more, where you would get a DVD, a signed poster, signed screenplay, your name in the credits, and attend a screening in NYC or LA.

I haven't seen Ingenious, but I will tell you what interests me about it (besides Jeremy Renner, because that one is obvious). It is based on a true story. It is a serious comedy. It has a great cast - I know I already said Jeremy Renner, but now I'm expanding it, because the rest of the cast is great too. It is an independent film, and has already won awards at several film festivals. And it was filmed in Tuscon, AZ, which makes me happy.

If you are interested in backing Ingenious, or just finding out more about the film, you can visit the Kickstarter page here.

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Sweet Smart Oral Care Challenge

This box arrived at my house yesterday to help my family participate in the Listerine Smart Rinse Sweet Smart Oral Care Challenge. We now have a variety of toothbrushes, mouth rinses, and floss to try.

When caring for your teeth, brushing is not enough. It is important to brush for 2 minutes and rinse for 60 seconds with a fluoride-based mouthrinse twice a day. It is also important to floss any teeth that touch at least once a day.

We will be brushing, flossing, and rinsing with our new supplies, for the next three weeks. Katarina was especially excited to try this pink Listerine Smart Rinse because it is Bubblegum flavored.

While I do recommend making sure your kids are brushing their teeth (if they are younger than 8 you should actually do the brushing for them!), I don't recommend trying to take pictures from strange angles to reduce flash glare in the mirror. The picture will come out a little blurry, and according to Katarina, it is distracting. I can't imagine why she would say that.

Let's Talk About Kids and Oral Health:

• Of the 4 million kids born each year, more than half will have cavities by the time they reach 2nd grade.
• 4.5 million children develop pediatric dental disease every year, with 44% of American children suffering from pediatric dental disease before they reach kindergarten.
• Left untreated, pediatric dental disease can lead to malnourishment, bacterial infections, required emergency surgery, and even death
• Dental disease has been linked to heart disease, stroke, diabetes, pneumonia, poor pregnancy outcomes, and dementia

Pediatric dental disease is America’s most common chronic childhood illness. But pediatric dental disease is not only treatable and curable, it is completely preventable through basic education and proper oral hygiene practices.

For more information about kids and oral health, and to find out how you can make a difference for a child in need, check out the National Children’s Oral Health Foundation: America’s ToothFairy.

We are going to use this chart we found in our box to keep track of our progress over the next three weeks.

What do you do to get your kids to brush their teeth? 

Legal Stuff: I was provided oral care products from Johnson & Johnson and the Motherhood to help me participate in the Sweet Smart Challenge and I was also compensated for my time. All opinions are my own, and I was not required to say nice things.

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Welcome

I slept in this morning. Not rising at my new normal of 6am, but rather later. More like 9am. Okay almost 10. It was a late night spent cuddling with my family and a Chronicles of Narnia movie that did me in.

That, and some lingering tiredness.

It was a welcome refreshment, this time stolen for sleep.

I was ready for a break.

Happy to not turn on my computer first thing this morning.

Happy to linger over preparations for a bowl of oatmeal (cinnamon and apples) for Katarina's breakfast, and happy to question Thomas's choice of leftover chili. (Really, who does that?)

It was nice to take that time. Not rush. Let the sleepiness work its way naturally out of my body as I listened to the hum of the microwave.

Tomorrow I will wake up early, catch up on things not finished today, and great the morning with happiness.

Today was a welcome rest.

Five Minute Friday Topic: Welcome

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I'm Not A Bad Mom with Motherhood Unadorned

There was a great moment in the show Everyone Loves Raymond when the wife explained how hard it is to talk to her husband, “When I need to talk to Ray about my feelings or our children, I know I have until the commercial’s over. That gives me 30 seconds. And if there’s a girl in the commercial, or a truck with big wheels, or, God forbid, a monkey, forget it!”

There is a lot of truth in that line. I have often felt as though I’m competing with everything from my husband’s tiredness, to the tv, to our daughter, for bits and pieces of his attention. And as a mom who homeschools, I really need that adult interaction at the end of the day.

***************

I am honored to guest post at Motherhood Unadorned today - about a time I learned to speak up about my needs, and put myself first.

Please visit me there to find out why I'm not a bad mom.

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Matched

I want to tell you about Matched without using the words Hunger Games. There are similarities. They are both YA novels with dystopian settings, they both have female lead characters caught up in love triangles, and Matched is the first book of a trilogy. Not typing Hunger Games might be hard. But I think every book deserves a chance to stand on its own at least once.

In Matched, Ally Condie has given us a fluffy read with moments of depth. I read it in one sitting. I cared about the characters (some more than others). I found it to be enjoyable (even the predictable parts).

The love triangle. Cassia is matched by the Society to marry her best friend, Xander. But the next day when she looks at the information the Society gave her about her match, she sees Ky's face on the screen. This is the catalyst for Cassia questioning the Society, and their infallibility. It also builds the love triangle. Cassia is immediately drawn to Ky. Poor Xander is left loving her, and wondering why she suddenly doesn't love him.

Xander is a good guy, and he takes risks for Cassia, even after learning that she loves Ky. The story would have worked just as well if Xander had been a loyal friend who was happy to see Cassia find love. He still could have helped her without being the sad side of a triangle.

The dystopian setting. Is it technically a dystopian world. The Society controls everything from who you marry, to what, and how much, each person eats at every meal, to when each person dies. They have eliminated creative pursuits, and destroyed all but 100 (of each) songs, poems, books, and paintings. Even with those things in place, I didn't really get a hardcore dystopian vibe until the end of the book.

Maybe this says more about me than it does about Condie's world - like things have to be really bad for me to feel that they are bad? But I think it was a combination of the slow reveal, and the comparisons to that other trilogy (the one I'm trying not to name) that are all over the endorsements on the book, that made me feel removed from some of the dystopian aspects.

Something I enjoyed very much - the poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas. It was not one of the 100 poems, but Cassia's grandfather has a copy of it written down and gives it to her before he dies. It plays a big part in helping to change her thinking about the Society. I am not generally a poetry person, but I found that this poem really spoke to me and made me want to read more Dylan Thomas.

I would have loved to have been given a complete list of all the 100 things. It would be interesting to see what the Society would have kept. Or what Condie would have picked actually - I would love to hear the reasons behind the things she felt the Society would approve. That is the first thing I would ask about if I was interviewing her. I also want to know more of the history of the Society, and how they came to power.

My overall feelings about Matched. It took some effort to set aside comparisons to The Hunger Games and The Giver that popped up in my mind as I was reading it. I enjoyed the book, and I do want to finish the trilogy. I'm hoping that my questions will be answered. I also hope that Ally Condie will have given up on that whole triangle thing, but I'm not expecting it. One last thing; I love the book cover.

Have you read Matched? Do you like Dylan Thomas?
You can join in the conversation, and find out more about Matched at BlogHer.

*Legal Stuff: This was a paid review for the BlogHer Book Club, and I was provided a copy of the book by BlogHer. The opinions expressed are my own, and I was not required to say nice things.

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Hope Fills My Life

This is a hard truth: In 2011 I experienced depression darker than any I've experienced before. I was not only depressed, I was disconnected and isolated. I wrote scary things in my journal. Even more scary were the things I self-censored. I flip back through those pages, and I can hardly believe I was functioning at all. Held together by forcing myself to write down reasons to live (alluding to that practice only one time on this blog, and couching it in fiction).

When I undertook hope as my focus word for 2012, it was with desperation. I didn't just want hope; I needed it. Like food. Like water. Like air. I knew I was going to die without it.

There has been a change. Since writing about things I was afraid to tell you in June, I have felt lighter.  My vulnerability was met with support, and I have been humbled and amazed by the response. Just the act of sending that out into the world was powerful, and that power manifested itself in hope.

From the outside it might not look like there have been big changes. The hard things are still there, and they are still hard. But I have changed. And I am able to see, and rejoice in, the small steps I (and my family) are taking toward real and lasting change.

This is why I've been singing about hope - morning pages - waking up early - homeschool. I am loving life. I am busier than I have been in a long time. Not busy in a way that wears or grates. Not frantic. Not busy in an "anything to dull the pain" rush. Not scheduling my day with unfulfilling things. Busy in a mostly organized way. I'm excited about opportunities. Putting myself out there, and looking for good things to come my way.

Hope is the real change. It took me eight months of desiring hope to really start to get it. But now I am feeling it all day long. I see it sneaking its way into every aspect of my life. I am so very thankful, and in awe of the grace of God.

With hope I can:

• Pour my energy into people and things that inspire me. 
• Believe in myself.
• Stop the negative self talk that tries to invade my mind as soon as the whispers begin.
• Do one creative thing each day. (And write morning pages! They are a big part of this life I am rejoicing in.)
• Honor myself with space, forgiveness, and mercy. 
• Unlock the chains of perfection. (Have you read Daring Greatly yet? It came into my life during this time of change and hope, exactly when I needed to read it.)
• Be kind to myself. For the first time in a really long time, I am actually being kind to myself. That is huge.

A few months ago I started stripping back the pain and cloud of depression; reaching out a tentative, pale, shaky hand toward hope. And I found that hope reaches back and gives strength.

What gives you hope?

Linking this up with Pour Your Heart Out at Things I Can't Say. 

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Homeschooling Hyperbole With Katarina

Each morning Katarina does free writing as a part of her homeschool. She often writes about her day with a humorous slant. I think she has a personal goal to make me laugh at least once when I read her notebook.

Last week she had a cold that interfered with her writing. When I opened up her notebook I found:

"I am sneezing a lot. Later I will be able to build a Mt. Everest out of tissues. It will be life sized. It is hard to sneeze and write at the same time."

Later that day she was working on English, and the workbook assignment was to write a poem. The topic was provided as well as some words to help students get started. This was Katarina's response:

"I don't like writing poems when they give me some of the words. It stifles my creativity. They just took my creativity, shut it up in a box, and mailed it to Singapore. Without my creativity, I may never be able to write again."

That special poem assignment was followed by a section on hyperbole.

Clearly we didn't need to spend much time on that section, because Katarina is well acquainted with hyperbole. They are great friends.

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