From Tracie

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

In Case You Didn't Know, I Love Yellow Things

When I talk about yellow, I think of Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias explaining her pink wedding. In my mind, I hear myself with a strong(er) southern accent saying, "Yellow is my signature color."

When we were at Universal Studios last week (drying socks with a fan) I saw a lot of yellow, and today I bring you my three favorite shots...
Yellow Staircase
Yellow stairs. 
Because yellow lifts you up higher. 

Giant Yellow Book - Curious George
Yellow book.
Because everything about this 
(giant, yellow, Curious George book) 
is awesome.

Yellow Star
Yellow star.
Because I can.
(Yes, I am laying on the ground on a yellow star. Don't you do that?)

I'm constantly on the look out for it.
Yellow brings me joy
I find it in the grayest of places.

What is making you happy today?

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Unplanned Words

Headphones on, email checked and closed, facebook and twitter closed, and I am ready to write.

write.

write.

something.

something my mind has been thinking about.

but.

my heart demands that I write words unplanned.

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I planned to tell you about this moment when I walked by Katarina's bed late last night.

A sleepy giggle escaped (there is nothing sweeter than the sound of a kid laughing in her sleep) as she rolled over. I pulled up the purple blanket that always finds itself at the end of her bed, and tucked it in around her.

I leaned over and breathed deeply the smell of shampooed hair, and gave her a kiss; whispering in her ear, "I love you," the way I do each night.

This feeling of awe settled on me. She is mine. My child, a piece of my heart laying there in the bed, asleep, giggling. Growing up, and yet still little. She is depending on me, trusting she will sleep safely, believing nothing bad will come in the night.

My heart demands that I write words unplanned.

Tonight I watched a 60 Minutes special about homeless families. Families who happen to live very close to me. Families who live in their cars because they can't afford a cheap motel in even the worst part of town, much less an apartment.

The reality of this story sits too close to me. My breath catches. I look over and see Katarina sleeping, blanket kicked off. I walk to her bed, and tuck that purple blanket around her. As I lean over to whisper in her ear, the words catch in my throat. A tear falls on her pillow.

A pastor once told me that when he did jail ministry, he always tried to remember he was only three bad days away from being in that situation.

My mind is full of thoughts of kids living in cars...and I won't allow myself to calculate how many bad days it would take for us to be there, because it is too scary.

My heart demands that I write words unplanned. My mind is not ready yet, to share that much of myself, but this is a start.

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Right now, almost 25 percent of kids in America are living in poverty (that is more than 16 million kids, the most since 1962) - some of whom don't know where they will sleep tonight, or if they will have food to eat. For $1, you can give 8 meals, a small amount to help a family not go to bed hungry. 

Friday, November 25, 2011

Blog Against Child Abuse - November 2011 Surviving Holidays Edition

Welcome to the November 2011 Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse!

This the the Surviving Holidays Edition of the carnival. Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in the US. My family spent a quiet day, watching movies, being thankful, and having family time. We spoke with out of town family (some calls were better than others), but mostly it was just the three of us together, and it was very nice. For those of you who celebrated yesterday, how was your holiday?

This month we have some great posts (with really smart ideas for coping during holidays). I hope they will help you think about good self-care during this season. We also had several submissions in response to the Penn State/Jerry Sandusky story, as well as other great submissions.

Surviving Holidays:
-Kerro from Kerro's Korner submitted, Holiday Coping
She wrote, "This post linked to what I thought was one of the best posts on "holiday coping" that I've ever read. The link is to Dr Kathleen Young, who posted from someone else."
I love this list, especially "Walk out the door the second things get gnarly. Just go." (and not just because she used the word gnarly which is kind of awesome) 

-Kate from Kate1975's Blog submitted, Holiday Coping
She wrote, "I assembled this resource page two years ago. It has helped me a lot over time, and I go to some of the pages throughout the year. I hope that it is a good resource for others."

-Kerro from Kerro's Korner submitted, I Made It
She wrote, "This is an older post about how I survived the Christmas madness last year."

-Kate from Kate1975's Blog submitted, The Most Wonderful Time of the Year Part 1 and The Most Wonderful Time of the Year Part 2 
Part 1 shares some of Kate's holiday story, and Part 2 has a great list of ideas for planning and coping with holidays. 


Healing and Therapy:
-cornnut32 from Picture of Experience submitted, A Chapter Closing
Writing, "This is it - the story of my confrontation! I've never felt so empowered in my life. Healing IS possible, it has taken me so many years to get to this point. If I can do it, others can too!"

-Tammy Taylor from Here We Go submitted, Little Miss Sunbeam
Tammy shares how therapy has helped her to reach out to the child within her, and enabled them to go on this healing journey together. 


Survivor Stories:
-Strife Survivor from My Life as a Strife Survivor submitted, The Beginning - Part 1
She wrote, "This story is my account of the first time I experienced sexual abuse."


Aftermath:
-Tracie submitted, Sometimes I Feel So Much Guilt
The Penn State story triggered me in ways I did not expect, causing me to look at the guilt I feel (even though it is not mine to carry) about other children who were abused by my uncle.  



 Advocacy and Awareness:
-Rick Belden from The Good Men Project submitted, A View Through A Cracked Lens
An Interview with Jon Ritchie brings up memories for Rick. 

-Jenn from ...so this is love... submitted, I Carry Them With Me
Jenn is a social worker who helps children who have been abused. They touch her heart, and she tries to be a safe place for them to share their stories and pain. 

-Brittany P from Butterfly Closures submitted, Penn State Scandal as it Triggers Many Survivors
Brittany found herself triggered by the Penn State news coverage and the stories of abuse even though it was different from the abuse she survived. She said, "Survivors just ache for other victims, because we know the harsh path that we walk, and because we often know the tragedy of an adult that doesn't follow through to protect a child."


-April from mindsetforlife submitted, Feeling Empowered
April recently wrote a book to inspire and empower abuse survivors, and she is sharing a piece of that work with us. 



In the News:
-An Indiana Senator wants to prevent child sex abuse
It is always encouraging to me when I see lawmakers making steps toward protecting children. Especially after this month, and all the news coming out about Penn State. 


Poetry:
-Tammy Taylor from Here We Go submitted, The Best of You
She wrote, "The best of you!"


*********
The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is a monthly event. The purpose is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse and to share important posts with others who may not be frequent readers of an author's blog, and expose one's work to a wider audience. There are so many wonderful bloggers who are contributing to the cause of ending and recovering from child abuse. If you, as a reader or author, know of other blogs that you find helpful, please encourage them to submit to an upcoming issue of the Carnival Against Child Abuse; and please bookmark that page so we can continue to receive high quality submissions from a wide swath of bloggers.

Many thanks to all of you who shared your hearts and stories with us, and to all of you who read the submissions and show your support. You keep this carnival, the awareness, support, and healing going each month.


To provide another way for you to stay in contact with the blog carnival, and make sure you don't miss any updates; you can like the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Facebook Page



Thank you for raising your voice and speaking out against child abuse! 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Peace Like An Iceberg

The phone rang, and as I listened to the words on the other side, I was overcome by what I think of as the scary peace. It hits like cold water, numbing you when bad news comes. Your mind instinctively shuts down, because it knows you will crumble under the weight of what is about to happen if you are able to think clearly.

But as I listened, something snuck past that scary peace and shattered the numbness. These words, which could have destroyed me, were tempered with a grace and mercy that I could feel. And I was so very thankful.

God took this thing, and used it as a blessing. When I realized what was happening, real peace settled over me. Not the scary, numbing kind of peace, but the peace that says, "I've got this. You will be okay." Tears still fall, and life still happens, but there are also second chances, and provisions from God showing up when they are so desperately needed.

On a holiday week that is a lot about pilgrims, and harvests (which I know very little about) and parades, and turkeys (which are not my favorite), and family (who are far away), I usually give some obligatory thoughts to thankfulness and move on. But this year, I feel a thankfulness, a peace, and even an optimism, that I did not expect.

I am thankful....God has got my back, and it is going to be okay.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

90210 Was Not A Cop Show

Thomas and I were flipping through tv channels, when we came across some silly movie on the Sci-Fi Channel (I think it is SyFy now, but I refuse to spell it that way on principle).

This movie (or maybe it was a show, I am not the authority on Sci-Fi channel programming) starred Jason Priestley - thus sparking a conversation wherein Thomas refused to believe Jason Priestley was his name until I looked it up.

"I was right! Jason Priestley."

"Who is he? How do you know his name?"

"Brandon Walsh. 90210." (<---self explanatory, right?)

Thomas stares at me blankly.

"The original 90210........Beverly Hills, 90210!"

"Oh yeah. That. Wasn't that a cop show?"

Generational differences. We have them.

Did you watch 90210? I know I'm not the only one!